Creating an estate plan is a gift to the people you leave behind. By expressing your wishes, you're trying to guide your loved ones at a difficult, emotional time.
All too often, though, well-meaning people do things destined to create discord, rancor and resentment among their heirs. What looks good on paper may play out disastrously in real life, said estate and trust attorney Marve Ann Alaimo, partner at Porter Wright Morris & Arthur in Naples, Fla.
"People want to think everybody will be nice and do right," Alaimo said. "Human nature is not always that way."
You can reduce the chances of family discord by doing these four things:
1. Name the right executor
I regularly hear from people convinced their siblings are stealing from an estate. Just as common are executors who drag their heels or who ghost the family entirely, refusing to deal with the necessary paperwork or even respond to e-mails and calls.
People often name executors based on family hierarchy (the oldest child, the only male) or personal relationships (the spouse, the best friend), rather than considering the skills needed for the job, estate planning attorneys say. The person tasked with settling an estate should be responsible, organized and scrupulously ethical.
Estate planning attorney Jennifer Sawday, a partner at TLD Law in Long Beach, Calif., often recommends that clients consider appointing a corporate trustee or a professional fiduciary as their executor. Many banks have trust departments that provide trustees for larger estates, typically those worth more than $500,000, while professional fiduciaries often serve smaller estates, she said.
2. Include personal property
Some of the littlest things — a childhood toy, a holiday decoration, a piece of costume jewelry — can trigger the biggest family fights. Anything with sentimental or emotional attachments can stir up old rivalries and lead to lifelong rifts.