If you're up for some random statistics that have no impact on your life, try this: In a recent survey to find the Happiest States in the union, Minnesota scored 68.0 out of 100, making us the sixth-jolliest semi-autonomous political entity.
We're a random number on nonspecific list!
March 10, 2011 at 11:17PM
Meaning? No idea.
Hawaii was first, possibly because "immediate access to pineapples" was a chief determinant; the insufferably chipper North Dakota scored 68.4, and we tied with South Dakota and Wyoming. Iowa was 17th, perhaps because every time they look at the map it seems like Minnesota is standing on their head, and Wisconsin can hardly get out of bed in the morning, coming in at 23rd. Dead last? West Virginia.
You may wonder what criteria were used. Well, there were six categories. Number one: Life Evaluation, or "self-evaluation about your present life situation and anticipated one in five years." It's possible we scored so high because we're next to North Dakota: I feel great about living close to it, and I intend to live there in five years! More likely no one wanted to tell the interviewer they weren't all that happy, because, well, you don't want to burden a stranger with that sort of talk. This is a holdover from a self-reliant, practical culture of farmers devoid of self-pity who would lose an arm in an augur and think, well, shoot, now that sleeve on my best suit is going to go completely to waste.
Two: Emotional Health. Same problem: People say they're fine, even if they're not, because you don't want to complain. Also, this might be a party line, and if that poke-nose Mrs. Andersen gets wind of the neighbors being unhappy because Elmer just plowed half his paycheck into pulltabs down at the Vee-Eff-Doubleya, it'll be around town faster than that news about the Petersen girl. Did you hear? Well, I never. 'Course, you can just look at the mother to see where that's coming from. Come to think of it, I'm not her, so you can put me down as very happy, thank you. Is there a box for "happier than Mrs. Petersen?" That's with an E, but folks'll know who I mean.
Three: Work Environment. People nowadays say they're happy with their work environment if they have an environment in which they work.
Four: Physical Health. We're known for being a healthy state, but I wonder if that's skewed by the inordinate number of whippet-thin spandex-clad cyclists in Minneapolis. Some of those guys you could mail to Europe on a single first-class stamp, and they might average out some of the larger folk.
Healthy Behavior. This one's interesting; it includes smoking rates. This could mean people are happy because they smoke. Say what you will, Mac, there's nothin' like a nail with that first cuppa joe! Yeah, I'm (coff) happy. Or they're unhappy because they like to smoke but have to stand outside -- then again, they have to walk 20 feet away from the front door, so that's exercise. The study seems to presume that smokers are unhappy, and that's not true. Unless you keep them from smoking. But you could say the same thing about bowling.
Access to Bowling Alleys. Well, not exactly, but access to health care plus "a safe place to exercise and walk." Oh, come on. Are they falling into sinkholes in Wisconsin every time they walk to the store? Are joggers carried off by crows in Iowa? More than usual, I mean.
In short, it seems a bit narrow-minded. What about restaurants, culture, weather, good government? When my front axle disappears in a pothole when it's 20-below, I don't think "well, at least I quit cigarettes, and there's a gym by my house." There are intangibles, too, like space. All the top 10 places have space. You can get away from your fellow man, if you wish. The heart of the top 10 are all four-season states, too: The slow stately respiration of the seasons, rain and snow, light and dark. They mark our lives like steps, each familiar, but new. The cycle of life! So that's it. Except there's the problem of the previous survey: In 2009, Florida was No. 1, and we were No. 26. This year Florida is 37th. What could possibly explain the switch? Simple: In 2009, they interviewed a bunch of Minnesotans at Disney World. Of course they were happy. It's the happiest place on earth. Except for that resort on Hawaii where the West Virginians retire.
jlileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 More daily at www.startribune.com/popcrush.
