Economists estimate aging baby boomers have $30 trillion to $48 trillion in personal assets to pass down over the next 25 years. Some say it will be the greatest wealth transfer in history. It may also be the greatest disappointment.
In all likelihood, your fine parents aren't among the 1% who hold the vast majority of that accumulated wealth. And, even if there is some money bouncing around in your family, it could easily be dissipated by your parents in their final years. Or, they may surprise you and leave you with little or nothing. Just because.
Whatever the outcome, nobody likes a whiner, and people can distribute their wealth any way they please.
So follow these rules to retain your dignity and sanity:
• Genuinely expect nothing, and you won't be unpleasantly surprised. Even if Mom and Dad have told you that you are getting some dough and you know — or think you know — that they have lots of money stashed away, don't count on it. Instead, imagine some disaster strikes and their wealth is depleted. Use that as your reality (though one you keep to yourself) in making your own economic decisions. Act as if you are absolutely on your own financially. You will be happier.
• Once the terms of the inheritance are disclosed, do not dwell on the division of the spoils. Move on. Complaining makes you look small to others and, inevitably, yourself.
• Forget the past. You may have spent years watching your parents repeatedly bail out your siblings from dumb investments or compulsive spending while you were self-sufficient. Maybe you shouldered most of the responsibility of caring for your parents in their dotage. Yet they divide their estate equally among the siblings. So be it.
• Can't get past your hurt feelings? Open your own wallet and buy yourself some therapy. Complaining to a family member runs the risk of poisoning a lifelong relationship and won't result in any reallocation of the estate. A counselor, on the other hand, can listen and help you find a path toward positive feelings.