Comedian Nate Bargatze is headed to St. Paul. Here are five of his funniest jokes.

One of the world’s most popular comedians is coming to St. Paul. Nate Bargatze, who is no stranger to Minnesota, will headline two shows Saturday and Sunday at Xcel Energy Center. As Bargatze prepares for his gigs, here are five of his funniest jokes.

In his second Netflix special, “The Greatest Average American,” Bargatze brags that he’s the dreamer of his marriage.

“In a marriage, one of you is a dreamer. You know, ‘Money’s not real. Let’s have fun. Let’s go do fun stuff as much as we can.’ And the other person hates fun, and that’s how you make a marriage,” he joked. “You can’t have two dreamers; you’re gonna be homeless in an hour.”

In his 2024 Netflix special, “Your Friend, Nate Bargatze,” he sets up this joke by talking about a person who criticized him for letting the family dog sleep in his bed.

“Someone told me you’re not supposed to do that because you lose dominance over the dog. And I asked him, ‘What year do you think it is? These are all doodles. They’re barely dogs. It’s a person. They’re people.’”

The clip has since made its way to social media where it’s gained popularity among doodle owners.

This one also comes from “Your Friend, Nate Bargatze” where he shares his experience at his daughter’s school career day. Two lines from the bit stand out.

“They asked him, ‘How long do you go to school to be a surgeon?’ He’s just like, ‘54 years’ or whatever. And they asked me, ‘How long to be a comedian?’ And I was like, ‘You’re good now,” he said.

Bargatze’s most famous piece of comedy comes from “Saturday Night Live,” which he hosted for the first time in 2023. In a sketch, he plays America’s first president rallying troops around the idea that a free nation could, “choose our own system of weights and measures.” For nearly five minutes, he mocks the imperial measurement system and other things uniquely American.

“Distance will be measured in inches, feet, yards and miles. So, 12 inches to a foot,” Bargatze announces.

“12 feet to a yard?” cast member James Austin Johnson asked.

“If it were only so simple. 3 feet to a yard,” responded Bargatze.

“Nobody knows,” Bargatze said.

“How many feet to a mile?” asked Kenan Thompson.

“5,280 of course. It’s a simple number that everyone will remember,” he quipped back.

Before he was touring arenas, Bargatze was on the Netflix series “The Standups” that gave lesser-known comedians a 30-minute special. He used part of that time to talk about how he never works out.

“What’s easier than working out is just telling people that you used to weigh 300 pounds. That’s a lot. They don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never weighed 300 pounds, but I look pretty amazing for a guy who used to weigh 300 pounds.”

Where: Xcel Energy Center, 199 W. Kellogg Blvd., St. Paul.