Patrick Reusse’s 2025 Turkey of the Year is ...

The Turkey of the Year Award started in 1978.

There’s no doubt the Turkey Chairman is on the clock for continuing service. Throw in the fact there is another aged leader occasionally located in Washington, D.C., setting a fine example for this announcement.

And that would be that when the Turkey Banquet commences at midafternoon on this Thanksgiving. Well, a share of the program will be devoted to The Chairman settling personal grudges.

There was a turnover on the committee a couple of years ago.

The Chairman took advantage of this by appointing a collection of stooges who feared losing their per diem if they crossed the Turkeys leader.

We can show off proudly today the results of this successful power grab with grudges revealed (and hopefully settled) as follows:

Sciuridae | Also known as “squirrels,” and if these were your everyday rats with unattractive tails, we would be calling in the National Guard as they ran in packs. These have bushy tails, so most of you don’t appreciate their destructive power.

Three times. Same transformer. They must find it tasty.

Road construction | “Hey, we got an idea,” said the MnDOT brainiacs. “Now that I-394 going east has turned into a constant traffic nightmare as it inches toward the Lowry Hill Tunnel, let’s spend millions to reduce the alternate — Minnesota 55 — from three lanes to two."

Rail construction | The Southwest light-rail project is over a half-decade late and hundreds of millions of dollars over budget. The Chairman looked this up: Construction on New York City’s subway system started in 1900, and there were trains running on the first hunk by 1904.

Thus: One-hundred twenty-five years later, Minnesota is much slower in completing tracks for people movers than was New York shortly after the Spanish-American War.

Saudi Arabia powers | They have been linked to a team of assassins that dismembered a media critic. They have attempted to ruin big-time men’s golf with LIV. Closer to home, they are taking over boxing and in the process have ended the neat revival we were having with the “sweet science” at a perfect venue — the remodeled Minneapolis Armory. The Chairman doesn’t approve of those trillionaires.

Not admirable, but even worse, he stiffed The Chairman after agreeing to an interview when A-Rod was on a TV assignment in Fort Myers, Fla., a few years ago. Boo!

The Chairman warned you, didn’t he? There were personal grudges to address.

**

Now, for the traditional Turkeys, we go first to the guest booths at the diner:

Anthony Davis | Dallas Mavericks

Don Garber | Major League Soccer commissioner

Pete Maki | Twins pitching coach

Aurora

Chauncey Billups | Suspended NBA coach

Sarah Strommen | Minnesota DNR commissioner

Let’s get after it.

Carlos Correa | Former Twin, current Houston Astro

Well compensated.

As the Twins hit the skids this summer and he added a few clunkers, Carlos said he was going to discuss ways to prepare the team better with the higher-ups. To which The Chairman said to himself: You could stop hitting into double plays, Carlos. Sent to Houston along with millions, and the way Carlos produced the final couple of weeks — we don’t think the Astros could have missed the playoffs without him.

Cheryl Reeve | Lynx president of basketball operations and coach

Brutal.

If the WNBA had real leaders, Reeve would have a carryover suspension for the start of this season.

Then, on Sunday night, the trade to avoid Angel Reese in the 2024 draft worked out with the Lynx getting the No. 2 pick this time … very likely to be an outstanding player.

And earlier on Sunday, our co-winners made perhaps the greatest last-ditch pitch for the big honor in the Turkeys’ long and storied history:

Kevin O’Connell and J.J. McCarthy | Vikings

Apparently, J.J. refused to throw the ball on one of those dropbacks long enough on a late-game play to get a mild concussion as he was again trampled. As a quick trigger goes, he wouldn’t have lasted long in a poker game in Deadwood, S.D., way back when.

All you non-Turkey committee members now stunned by this young man’s ineptitude are invited to go back and look at your over-the-top “We finally got our quarterback!” public remarks after his one good quarter in the season opener.

This so-far failed rebuild from the ground up is not on the GM — it’s on O’Connell, the coach who wanted him.

Right now, O’Connell’s whispering to the quarterback is as effective as Maki’s was to Joey Wentz.

Merry Thanksgiving. See you next year.