Here follows a (possible) transcript of a call to law enforcement last month.
"FBI? I gotta talk to someone about the Ruby Slipper caper."
"Just a minute, I'll transfer you to the Prop Crimes Division. Please hold."
"Hello, Special Agent Peter Gumn. I understand this is about the slippers."
"Yeah. And don't try to trace the call, I'm gonna be quick. The slippers are ... "
"Sir, this is the FBI. We already know you are calling from 2941 Circle Drive in Grand Rapids."
"What? Uh ... well, I'm calling from the guest room. I don't live here. Do you want to know about the slippers or not? I know where you can find them. You gotta help me. One of them's in Minnesota. The other's in Florida.
"There's a curse, I tell you! It's been nothin' but misery. I ran and ran but at the end they got me, and my little dog, too."