Among the most gratifying things about writing these columns: my correspondence with generous readers.
Generous because they find and send me delicious writing gaffes I can use to illustrate barriers to clarity. Here's one a reader found in his own writing; it's a confessional:
"After I read your column today, I re-read a message I'd sent to a friend: 'I'll stop by today after I have a workout with a slice of meatloaf.'"
If you've ever worked out with a slice of meatloaf, you know how sloppy and awkward that can be. The reader could have avoided the mess by writing, "I'll stop by today with a slice of meatloaf after I have a workout."
A sloppy version takes shape when writers know exactly what they mean, but unconsciously compress separate thoughts. Once again — and yet again — the best advice: Read aloud what you have written. That helps to achieve clarity.
Another reader, who writes very well, told me it was "terrifying" for her to write to me, I suppose because she thinks I occupy some unreachable perch in the realm of writing.
I wrote back to disabuse her of that notion and to suggest that — as many people have noted — perfection is the enemy of good. Most people I have known who fear the task of writing think they have to live up to strict rules, and to follow those rules by editing themselves word by word as they go along.
Serious mistake.
After you finish a first draft, read it aloud, identify unclear expressions, and then edit and rewrite — maybe more than just a second draft, reading each one aloud to refine your product.
What does that accomplish? It influences us to write conversationally, something devoutly to be wished. Even business contracts and user manuals can be written in human, conversational style. Everyone loves a story, rather than a jumble of jargon.
To conclude, a quiz question: What's the problem with the sentence below? It appears in promotional copy for a superb investigative news organization.
Welcome to Dispatches, a weekly newsletter from ProPublica that spotlights wrongdoing in America and journalism from our newsroom.
Gilson conducts writing workshops online. He can be reached through www.writebetterwithgary.com.
