Ask Amy: Continue to ignore old beau's messages

Dear Amy: I dated "C" for only a month in 2020. I was the one who broke it off. I have not contacted him since.

Recently, I logged onto Facebook for the first time in a long time, and I noticed that he has been messaging me over the course of the last two years — and as recently as last week. (He has my phone number, by the way.)

It's clear that he wants to get back together, but I have no interest in reconnecting.

I'm wondering if I should tell him the reasons I broke off the relationship. But I'm concerned that telling him would be purely selfish. I never told him all the things that bothered me, and if I did now, I'd finally be able to get it off my chest.

On the other hand, maybe he'll be willing to take this feedback for what it is. I'm not claiming I can change him, but what if my feedback helps?

However, the truth will sound harsh — because it is. He was immature, racist and unscrupulous (i.e., stealing from his job).

I wonder if I'm even the right person to tell him these things. Should I just let him continue on his own journey?

This guy's infractions (aside from his immaturity) are things he likely already knows are wrong: He's racist. He's a thief. Self-improvement is not on the horizon for him — unless he expresses a desire for it, which he doesn't seem to have done.

He is messaging you because he can. I suggest that you continue not to respond, consider blocking him and hope that he is messaging you on FB because he has lost your number.

Repeat, repeat ...

Dear Amy: I recently became debt-free, thanks to eight years of hard work.

The person I am dating has been asking me how they can become debt-free. I've explained multiple times how I did this, offering all the resources I have used, but they keep bringing it up as though we've never had the conversation.

Amy says: Congratulations on achieving this enviable state. You've dedicated almost a decade to the long and slow climb out of debt, and you are justified in feeling very proud.

On many levels, being in debt is something like being trapped in an addiction. The addicted person can be very interested in or intrigued by recovery, but until they take concrete steps — of their own — recovery cannot begin.

Rather than using you as a sounding board, your date might explore a group like Debtors Anonymous (DA), where they can receive ongoing support, as well as encouragement, to face their debt.

Hand your date a teaspoon to start the process of digging out by sending them a link to Debtorsanonymous.org.

Dear Amy: Readers are mad because you didn't call password sharing for streaming services theft.

Amy says: I can understand why many readers see sharing passwords as theft because you are taking something from the streaming services without paying for it. While some families need to share accounts for financial reasons, streaming services are starting to limit the number of users who can share an account.