These events are reinventing the singles mixer for younger daters

Second in an occasional series:

Hundreds of singles dressed in festive sweaters and party dresses packed a downtown Minneapolis bar that was transformed into a holiday wonderland on Dec. 11. But unlike a typical night out, attendees could be certain that everyone in the room was single.

The holiday evening was one of the weekly events hosted by Thursday Dating, an app-alternative that is refreshing the traditional singles mixer. The events are wide in scope, with themes that vary from line dancing hoedowns, singles-only movie nights and costume parties.

On that particular Thursday, daters could mingle freely before they were paired up with another single based on the results of a questionnaire.

Thursday Dating is one of a handful of dating event series that are getting buzz on social media in the Twin Cities as millennial and Gen-Z daters report a renewed interest in meeting people face-to-face. From run clubs to community education classes to board game nights, younger people are giving real-life connections a try as levels of dating app fatigue rise.

“You know what I call Tinder and Hinge? Ghost city and ghost town,” Casey Malone-Povolny, 29, said at the start of the holiday pairing event, joking about being ghosted on the dating apps.

Savanna Milbee, the lead organizer of the global dating event company’s local events, began hosting in Minneapolis a year into her own singlehood. For her, the concept of real-life connections resonated for the same reason as it does for attendees, said Milbee. She recalled recently going to an EDM show with hundreds of people, but not finding any potential connections.

Male attendees, for example, often say they feel less comfortable approaching women at a grocery store or park, when it’s unclear whether romantic advances are welcome, Milbee, 32, said.

“Everybody that comes to my singles events is open to having that conversation. That’s what makes it different,” she said. “You’re going to meet people that are actually wanting to connect, have a conversation, talk about their values and also just have a good time.”

Attendees are, on average, in their mid-twenties to early thirties. There are open dating events as well as ones specifically for queer singles or those in their 30s and 40s. Ticket availability is split 50/50 for men and women, along with spots reserved for nonbinary people, Milbee said.

Many daters at the December event said they were exhausted by dating apps that encourage constant swiping in search of the next “best” thing.

But while events are held IRL, singles with rusty social skills will still find the comforting, modern integration of tech at events like the December mystery pairing night.

Those answers, ranked by individual importance on a numeric scale, eventually translated into group numbers sent to each of the 300 participants’ cell phones. First, the crowd split into four groups, before shrinking in size over and over with the help of notifications until daters met their match, scavenger hunt style.

Participants can prepare a mix of playful and important questions to draw on when they find themselves in conversations during the events, Milbee said.

If singles are nervous, there’s no harm in calling out the energy they are feeling. “Like, ‘oh my God, this is so awkward right now, but I think you’re really cute,’” she suggested.

The concept was alluring to Kayla Durham, 25, who attended her second mystery pairing event. She came across the first event last winter during a quest to go out and do more activities on her own. “That was the first event I’ve ever gone out to solo,” she said.

The events feel refreshing and different while still being welcoming, said Durham, who’s attended both general and queer-specific Thursday events.

Regardless of where things end up, meeting face-to-face feels good, Durham said.

“I’m kind of just addicted to meeting more people. It doesn’t matter if you don’t meet the love of your life,” Durham said. “You’ll probably meet someone.”