The art of friendly persuasion

We are in the thick of the most unusual political season I can remember. What will it take for the candidates to persuade voters that they should lead the country?

Qualifications? Sure. Campaign promises? Perhaps. Appearance? Doesn't hurt. The best opposition research? Not necessarily.

But the one factor that will always make the difference? Persuasion — the same sales skill that sets the successful apart from the competition.

Simply said, it doesn't matter who has the best ideas or the most workable plans or the nicest smile. It all comes down to persuasion. The candidates could all take a lesson from my favorite, President Lincoln.

One of Lincoln's most valuable skills was his ability to persuade others to his point of view, no matter how entrenched their position. Lincoln described the art of persuasion in an 1842 speech to the Springfield Washington Temperance Society:

"When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind, unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted … If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great high road to his reason, and which, when once granted, you will find but little trouble in convincing his judgment of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause really be a just one.

"On the contrary, assume to dictate to his judgment, or to command his action, or to mark him as one to be shunned and despised, and he will retreat within himself, close all the avenues to his head and his heart; and though your cause be naked truth itself … you shall no more be able to reach him than to penetrate the hard shell of a tortoise with a rye straw."

Here are some techniques.

• Speak their language. Listen to how people express themselves. Acknowledge their concerns and use the same language to respond to them to let them know you hear their concerns.

• Use their names. What's the sweetest sound in the world? Your name on someone else's lips. Just don't overdo it. And don't use it before you've established some rapport.

• Use action words. Be direct. You've got to ask for the response you want. Don't ask someone to try to do something or to think about doing it if you need an immediate response. But if you are negotiating for the longer term, give them time to think..

• Get your foot in the door. You don't have to lead off with your main point. First get the other person's attention, and then apply some persuasive techniques — offering an additional benefit, changing your request to what you really want, or letting him or her turn you down now while leaving the door open.

Mackay's Moral: Persuasion is an art. The tongue can paint what the eye can't see.