Q My boss is addicted to his iPhone. He checks e-mails during meetings and sneaks glances at it when we have one-on-one meetings. I really feel like he's not paying attention to me when he should be, and wonder what I can do.
A It's an unfortunately common occurrence, partly fueled by the myth that people can multi-task.
The inner game
Start with getting your feelings about the situation under control. You'll want to explore them, but from a position of calm, so take some deep breaths and get centered.
Now, think about how you feel when your boss is preoccupied with his iPhone. It sounds like you might feel somewhat neglected or hurt, and might also be angry or frustrated. Does it affect your self-esteem, in thinking you're not important, or do you chalk it up to his poor manners? If you feel that it's about you, that's definitely a place to focus on managing your reaction.
In order to assess your options, examine your organizational culture. Is his behavior the norm, or is he outside of typical behavior? Also, notice if others are annoyed by this behavior.
Finally, look at when and how you're affected, and determine your vision for a successful outcome.
You may decide that his lack of attention in a large meeting doesn't affect you. In that case, you may just focus on changing his behavior in smaller settings, including your one-on-one meetings.
