Monday (Vikings, Gophers, Twins and more: a sports orgy) edition: Wha' Happened?

There is probably no better way to describe the roughly 48 hour span between 7 p.m. Friday and 7 p.m. Sunday than to just go chronologically. So let's do just that:

7 p.m. Friday: Cover the Champlin Park vs. Blaine high school football game, featuring two of the more exciting players you will see in the state this year in Blaine senior QB Eric Kline and Champlin Park sophomore RB Michael Sales. Seriously, check out either of these teams if you like HS football. Well worth your time. Blaine prevails 28-21, holding off a late CP rally.

11 p.m. Friday: Arrive back home to meet up with Rocket, who has arrived in town for an epic weekend. As usual, we immediately start scheming to add more ridiculousness to an already jam-packed weekend. Mario Kart is played. We forget who won.*

7:30 a.m.: Wake up, eat quick and head out for a hastily arranged 8:25 a.m. tee time for 9 holes at the official RandBall golf course, Fort Snelling. We breeze through that -- 46 for us, 55 for Rocket -- head home quick to change clothes, and then the real sports madness begins.

12:09 p.m.: Arrive in our seats at Target Field, narrowly ahead of the first pitch of Twins/A's. It is a glorious day. The sun is out. Section 323 doesn't usually get much sun, but a noon game is changing all that. The game breezes along, but the Twins are scuffling at the plate. Knowing we will need to leave before the game is over -- a RandBall no-no, but this is for a good cause -- we head to the "lucky spot" for the bottom of the sixth, which will be our last inning there (note: Stu has already texted us at this point, demanding we move to the lucky spot at some point). The spot comes through, giving Danny Valencia the power and courage to hit a three-run homer that puts the Twins up 4-1. Rocket makes an off-color joke about Stu's mother, which we refuse to relay via text, only to see Stu has also made an off-color joke about Rocket's mother that he has sent via text. THE RIVALRY CONTINUES.

1:45 p.m.: Bolt out the perfect Fifth Street exit at Target Field, hop on a No. 16 bus and make our way toward TCF Bank Stadium for a 2:30 kickoff between the Gophers and USC. There is another fella on the bus doing the same thing. He's from South Dakota. He's never been to The Bank. His cell phone rings, and he has the ringtone from the awful cell phone ringtone in those Geico commercials. We cannot stop laughing, nor can Rocket.

2:30 p.m.: After getting off the bus, walking a few blocks through a very active and festive campus -- not the gameday atmosphere of our undergrad days -- we get our tickets at will call and get to our seats about 2 minutes before kickoff. It is from there that the picture you see of the proud/confused gentleman in the Mike Alstott Bucs jersey was taken. Each fan is given a commemorative special edition Sports Illustrated in conjunction with Gophers football history. This proves to be a mistake, as the somewhat heavy paper objects turn into flying machines during both good times and bad (video coming in a later post). Tim Brewster and Lane Kiffin engage in a clowning match late in the first half, with Brewster refusing to try for points after a turnover, and Kiffin refusing to let the Gophers just run out the clock. Minnesota leads briefly in the third, and then you know the rest.

Noticing the acronym was NFL, we were hoping to use that picture someday in conjunction with a Packers loss. Sadly, we also had it in the back of our minds that it could be used in conjunction with a Vikings loss. And yes, it is sexist, low brow humor at its worst.

6:30 p.m.: We arrive back at the car, having made the decision that the day is far from over. Yes, we are going to now drive to Blaine to catch the NSC Stars vs. Vancouver in their final regular season home match of the year. We take Central Avenue all the way up to avoid Gophers traffic, arrive just as the starting lineups are being introduced, take our seats moments before the ball is put in play, and watch 90 minutes of soccer resulting in a 1-0 Minnesota victory. A Vancouver player has the last name of "Forko." Whenever he touches the ball, we yell "Forko." Eventually, other people start responding, "Polo."

9 p.m.: During the course of the soccer match, we find out there is a NAHL hockey tournament going on at the adjacent Super Rink in Blaine. We buzz over there and catch the third period of three very entertaining games -- including a team rallying from a three-goal deficit and eventually winning in a shootout. Rocket declares, "I'd forgotten how much I missed the smell of a hockey rink," making him perhaps the only person in the world nostalgic for that awful yet unmistakable scent.

11 p.m.: Arrive back at home. More Mario Kart is played. We forget who won.*

7 a.m.: Up again for another round of golf. This time, though, we can't get on the course until 9:20 because of a private family reunion tournament going on at The Fort. We alter plans, get breakfast first, get to the course at 9:15, get derailed a little by some slow players, but not enough to throw us off our games. Memorable moment: our birdie on the signature seventh hole. Five-wood, pitching wedge, putter, for those scoring at home. It's a classic risk-reward.

3 p.m.: Leave the game, encounter no traffic at all thanks to the GREATEST LOT EVER, grab some quick lunch, and Rocket is on the road by 4 p.m. We have executed a weekend game plan so much better than the professional and college football teams in town.

5 p.m.: We embark with Mrs. RandBall on a 12-mile run.

Last night: We are so tired we can barely think straight.

*Results were inconclusive. The game was rigged. Rocket won.