There's an infographic going around the internet, detailing each state's favorite Thanksgiving side dish. Choose the side you think Minnesotans like the best. Here are the options:
1. Crawfish étouffée with dirty rice, dusted with paprika and Tabasco.
2. Pan-seared escargot stuffed with caramelized Brie.
3. Mashed potatoes.
OK, we're all going with No. 3, the ol' Pummeled Spuds. But it sounds so bland when we know better. We jazz them up with dehydrated chive fragments, and, of course, there's our secret ingredient, salt!
It makes us sound so dull. I'm not saying it's the wrong answer; everyone always has mashed potatoes. Someone's always in the kitchen at the last minute, punishing the spuds with an electric mixer, trying to extirpate the dreaded lumps, so it resembles flavorless Cool Whip. Heck, you can put some sugar in the potatoes and use them for pie topping; who'd know?
Here's the thing, though. I don't believe it. I don't believe any of these "Favorite X of states" graphs. I believe that we all expect mashed potatoes, but that it's no one's favorite. Mashed potatoes are a given. They are assumed. Favorites are something else. There's:
• Yams — autumnal in color, and if they're made with enough sugar it's like dessert in the middle of the meal, but also a plant.