In ‘chaotic and ugly’ world, Minnesota wedding photographer ‘finds something beautiful’

Whenever she needs someone’s attention, Minneapolis wedding photographer Becca Dilley has a secret weapon.

It’s her “camp counselor voice,” dating to her days motivating summer camp kids. And it’s her go-to now as she photographs some two dozen weddings a year, along with shooting portraits and photos for books.

“I use it all the time,” Dilley said. “There’s a straight line from being a camp counselor and being like, ‘It’s 90 degrees out but playing soccer is gonna be awesome!’ to ‘I need everyone to look at me and smile at the same time!’ It’s the same skill, and it’s incredibly useful.”

Dilley likes documenting weddings creatively rather than “shooting the pieces of a wedding, where you always take these 30 photographs and just change out the people that are in them.” She’ll photograph weddings in caves from a boat or at summer cabins, in addition to more customary venues.

“One of the big skills to bring to wedding photography is being kind of unflappable,” Dilley said. “There’s a lot of stress that happens. That’s not a failing. There’s a lot of reasons for people to get stressed out. So, part of my job is not to add to that stress and instead to find ways to make it fun.”

In an interview edited for clarity and length, Dilley shares what it’s like to be in her shoes — even when they go missing.

I’m a very creative person. I’m a very visual person. I dabbled in a lot of arts in high school and college, and at other times, a lot of different, more tactile arts. Metal and sculpting. Pottery and sewing. I’m also very practical, and none of them seemed like a viable career.

When I started shooting, there was a transition from traditional photography to wedding photojournalism. Having a more candid, photojournalistic, loose interpretation of the vibe of a wedding. It’s having weird moments, having silly things that happen. This is a day that’s happening in a real couple’s life. It isn’t perfect in the movie sense. It’s perfectly imperfect. So, how do you capture all of the bits and pieces that make it real, while still keeping an eye out for the prettier edges of real?

They don’t want it to feel like a photoshoot. People increasingly want to feel like the photos are of them. They’re not a beautiful portrait of a couple that could be on a magazine cover. They’re a beautiful portrait of the two of them.

The world is really chaotic and ugly. It’s arbitrary, and it’s stupid, and it’s so cruel. And people have to have weddings to get married. Why? Why do we even bother to do that? Because it’s one of these elements that lets us be humans together, to celebrate. Find something beautiful and elevated. It becomes this beacon that just sort of sustains us as humans.

They’re pretty. I like that, too. People are happy. I’m from the Midwest, but I also have a keen sense of what makes the Midwest itself. It’s one of the few times we really feel welcome to share emotionally. Do the big hug. We allow ourselves to lean in to all of the joy. So, it’s really beautiful to photograph.

I carry around 30 pounds of equipment, so it’s very physically demanding. That’s a piece that I increasingly just have to take very seriously, through yoga and strength training and endurance and thinking those things through. For a while, I kept a pedometer on me because I was curious. And yeah, if you don’t sit down for 10 hours, you do walk 12 miles. You don’t have to go very fast to make that happen.

When people get married at a camp venue or a family cabin, and they leave in a canoe. The best photos of a canoe are taken from the water, so I need another canoe, and two people who know how to canoe and haven’t been drinking. I don’t bring all my equipment, just the stuff I need, just in case I fall in. With three people, it’s usually pretty steady, and we stay real low. That’s a lot of fun.

At a Hindu wedding I shot, you had to take your shoes off to enter the temple. When I came out, my shoes weren’t there. Someone had left wearing my Danskos. I was like, “There’s someone out there with small feet who is just feeling great back support today.”

Oh, all the time. You have to let yourself be moved or none of it makes any sense. I’m a practical enough person that I can feel my feelings and continue taking photos, which is usually how it goes. But I love during speeches, that’s another time where it comes up more. I lost my father several years ago, and the speeches are definitely a time where I often think about him.

Todd Nelson is a freelance writer in Lake Elmo. His e-mail is todd_nelson@mac.com.