What to do about people who complain about everything? They are a dangerous drain on your energy and are toxic. They can take the energy, creativity, fun and productivity out of any group.
My good friend Hall of Fame college football coach Lou Holtz said, "Never tell your problems to anyone ... 20% don't care, and the other 80% are glad you have them."
Complaining is addictive, too. Complainers attract complainers — and they are seldom happy. Complainers see problems instead of solutions, making them difficult to work with.
Randy Pausch, the professor who is famous for "The Last Lecture," said: "If you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out. ... Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier."
So often, those who complain about the way the ball bounces are the ones who dropped it in the first place.
What, then, is the best way to deal with chronic complainers? Here are a few suggestions:
Listen. Hear them out so they don't feel they are being ignored. Maybe you will learn something. But don't throw fuel on the fire by agreeing with or validating their complaints. Show empathy, but not necessarily sympathy.
Ask for solutions. When someone approaches you with a complaint, nicely ask them what they've done to improve the situation. They may have some good ideas, or it may abruptly end the conversation. I know one manager who put a complaining employee in charge of a project. The complainer quickly learned how difficult it is to make everyone happy all the time and had a noticeable change in attitude.
