A dress made of 1,000 condoms by designer Joynoelle packs all the symbolic protection a girl or a guy could need.

The dress caught Melinda Jacobs’ eyes Tuesday when she was at the 312 W. 42nd St. studio of her favorite Twin Cities designer, Joynoelle.“I walked in and was, ‘Wow! That’s kind of soft and pretty,’ and she was like, ‘Melinda, that’s the perfect dress to protect you from those crazy guys when you’re out and about — it’s made of a thousand condoms.’ ”

Jacobs broke up laughing when she told me about this, but I was not laughing at the photo she shared. Not that I am against the protection it offers, but the dress looked disgusting enough to repel anybody.

“In person, it’s really not,” Jacobs assured me.

“It’s actually a surprisingly beautiful dress,” said Joynoelle, when I called to find out her inspiration for it.

“Planned Parenthood had a fundraiser [last year] and they asked me to do a garment out of a thousand condoms and that’s what I came up with. [Melinda] came to my studio today to drop off a dress and talk with me about designing something else and she spotted that dress. She had to try it on, and it fit.”

Asked how she attached the condoms, Joynoelle explained, “They are all stitched on. Right, they will not protect you very well. You don’t notice what it’s made of unless you come up close.”

Given how the condoms are attached, it’s only suitable for “social media contact” and not personal interactions.

Jacobs did not buy the condom dress, “but she is going to wear it at a future event. It’s more of an art piece,” said Joynoelle, who wants Lizz Winstead — co-creator of the “Daily Show” and the passionate reproductive rights advocate who is founder of Lady Parts Justice — to have access to the dress.

I told Joynoelle I could arrange that. Winstead is my Sunday Q&A for startribune.com, in advance of her political year-in-review shows coming to the Cedar Cultural Center.

Celebrity spotters on target

Thanks to George, Cynthia & Kerry for the belated e-mails containing Matthew McConaughey sightings.

“I can confirm he was in Minnesota with his wife and guests having dinner at Spoon and Stable,” wrote George, who “was sitting a couple tables away from them.”

“I saw Matthew and Camila downtown!” wrote Cynthia. “I was driving and spotted a handsome man in winter white with Camila. There was a third person walking with them — a big guy. It was them! Thank you for confirming in your column.”

“On her Facebook Camila Alves was in NYC for a big Target event,” wrote Kerry, “so presumably she was in Minneapolis to prepare for it last week. A bunch of people on Twitter saw McConaughey in Minneapolis and posted their sightings. I guess he was just accompanying his wife for a change! She usually is his arm candy!”

My first tipster was Kendall Anderson, an Emerson Spanish Immersion Learning Center teacher, with whom I will begin negotiations on an appearance before my people — grade-schoolers — shortly. I want to talk to the kids about a long-term good grammar lesson plan that is based on having them document the atrocious language escaping the mouths of TV “broadcasters.” Anderson has other ideas.

 

Casting for KG

While celebrating Kevin Garnett’s “dunk drought in Minnesota” on ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption,” Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon discussed the once-and-current Timberwolf’s post-NBA possibilities.

“At 6-11, he went 23 games without a dunk since returning as a Timberwolf,” noted Kornheiser.

“You know, I think that KG’s going to be one of the greatest basketball analysts on TV ever, when he decides to do that,” said Wilbon. “I think he could have your job here,” Kornheiser stabbed Wilbon.

Please, not anytime soon. Kornheiser and Wilbon are erudite former newspaper guys who know their stuff.

 

C.J. can be reached at cj@startribune.com and seen on Fox 9’s “Buzz.” E-mailers, please state a subject; “Hello” does not count. Attachments are not opened.