Independence Day, 1987. My dad had some fireworks stashed in a greasy brown paper bag in the garage. I'd known about them for weeks and begged him to set a few off. He was hesitant because, well, I was 4 years old. Putting me near baby dynamite probably was a bad idea. But I was a pest about it and he gave in.
I remember he walked me to the far side of our small yard, parking me by the birch. "Sit right here and don't move," he told me. As he slowly walked to the other side of the yard to prep the pyrotechnics in the driveway, I plugged my fingers into my ears well before I needed to, because that's what kids do.
I watched him pull out his lighter and squat to set the fuse of an M-80, a powerful firecracker originally made by the U.S. military to simulate artillery fire. His body was between me and the munitions, though, and I couldn't see anything. So I darted closer to the action where I could enjoy a full view — did I mention I was 4 years old and a complete nuisance?
When the fuse caught, my dad hustled toward the birch tree where he'd left me, and just as he realized I was no longer there, something bright and loud and terrible happened on the pavement about 3 feet from my tiny limbs.
He eventually calmed me down and patiently cleaned me up. He told me I was lucky I hadn't lost a finger or an eyeball. As he put a Snoopy Band-Aid on my arm where something — a pebble, maybe — had scraped me and drawn a small bead of blood, he made me promise not to tell my mother about the M-80s. "You got it, Dad! Our secret!"
Later that night, after telling my mom all about the loud bang, the ringing in my ears and my awesome Snoopy Band-Aid, she comforted me and told me I was such a brave little boy.
As I fell asleep to the sounds of whistles and pops echoing all over the neighborhood, transfixed by the brilliant reds and blues flashing outside my window, my dad probably got an earful.
Where the fireworks are
Today the best fireworks, M-80s included, are illegal in the United States. And unless the Minnesota Senate votes this year to permit the sale of the "aerial and audible devices" found across our state's borders, you won't be able to buy much of anything worthwhile in the land of 10,000 sparklers and Whipper Snappers.