If you love coaches who speak their mind, give life to nongame days and aren't afraid to talk trash, you better start pulling for the New York Jets.
As it stands now, Jets coach Rex Ryan is proving a point for all the coaches who hide their thoughts, put us to sleep on nongame days and sugarcoat every opponent.
Ryan's boastful personality and swagger on HBO's "Hard Knocks" series placed a giant target on one of the AFC's Super Bowl contenders. In Week 1, Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis took the target and smashed it over Ryan's head. Next up: New England, another elite AFC team that's even more ticked off because it shares the same division as the Jets.
Dolphins running back Ricky Williams, whose team also resides in the AFC East, said the Jets' attitude makes it fun to play them.
"That's just the Jets; that's their personality," Williams said. "It's been like that for a while. I guess they like it. When you put a target up, it kind of forces you to get up every week for the game. I love it."
Let's hope the Jets and their woeful offense can respond to the many upcoming challenges and strike a blow for free speech. Let's also think of some targets to put on other teams. Such as:
MIA +5 1/2 at VIK: Vikings by 3
The Dolphins can issue a news release saying Brett Favre's performance in New Orleans broke Dan Marino's record for most incompletions to receivers he's never met, heard of or bothered to practice with.
KC +2 at CLE: Browns by 3
If the Browns are playing well and winning big, they can make an offer to kneel down and/or rehire Chiefs defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel.
BUF +13 at GB: Packers by 14
The Packers can announce, "While it's true Aaron Rodgers did not play particularly well in Philadelphia, it's not like he's Trent Edwards for gosh sakes."
BAL -2 1/2 at CIN: Ravens by 7
Chad Ochocinco can announce this week's touchdown celebration will include forcing Ray Lewis to slip into a pink tutu and sing, "I'm a little teacup ..."
PIT +5 1/2 at TEN: Tennessee by 7
The Steelers can say, "You're 1-0, but you beat the Raiders. That's like a Dakota beating the Gophers."
PHI -6 at DET: Eagles by 7
Calvin Johnson announces he will catch the winning touchdown; only this time he'll maintain possession for eternity or until the Lions win the Super Bowl, whichever comes first.
CHI +7 1/2 at DAL: Cowboys by 10
The Cowboys trade right tackle Alex Barron to Chicago with the suggestion that he's officially made enough mental mistakes to coach the Bears.
TB +3 1/2 at CAR: Panthers by 3
The Bucs can thank the NFL for letting them play back-to-back weeks against the guy who lost his job to Matt Moore (Jake Delhomme) and either Matt Moore's backup (Jimmy Clausen) or Matt Moore himself.
ARI +6 1/2 at ATL: Falcons by 7
Arizona puts on its website: "Don't worry, Cardinal fans. These chumps lost to Dennis Dixon."
STL +3 1/2 at OAK: Raiders by 7
The Raiders can say: "Ha! Even Vegas thinks you guys stink worse than we do."
SEA +3 1/2 at DEN: Broncos by 7
The Broncos can say: "You think our tight ends are good now? Just wait until we get Brewster back next year."
JAC +7 at SD: Chargers by 10
The Jaguars could go Ali and say: "Overrated is such a pity. Especially when you can't beat Jacksonville or Kansas City."
NE -3 at NYJ: Patriots by 4
The Patriots can say: "How you gonna stop us, Rex? You're 0-1 against female reporters."
NYG +5 1/2 at IND: Colts by 7
The Colts can say, "Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, paper beats rock, and Peyton beats Eli."
NO -5 1/2 at SF: Saints by 7
The Saints can say, "Did you hear Mike Singletary sent three 49ers to Alex Smith's house to beg him not to return this week?"
UPSET SPECIAL
HOU -3 at WAS: Redskins 23, Texans 21
Albert Haynesworth vows to play with uncontrolled anger when he learns his $100 million contract comes with a $98 million guarantee for President Obama.
TROPHY CASE
Last week's pick: Texans by 3. Actual score: Texans 34, Colts 24.
Season record: 1-0. Last week's record; vs. spread: 7-8; 6-7-2. Season record; vs. spread: 7-8, 6-7-2.
