We spent the better part of last night ignoring all the rules that we had established for ourselves regarding a fantasy football auction draft (foremost, the strategy of not blowing all our money on a couple of top-tier players), so we didn't see the entirety of the Twins/White Sox tribute to slogging through September. But we did pay attention for a few crucial moments -- providing us with a new standard for the silliest way to score a run, and perhaps allowing us to bear witness to John Danks' most frustrating moment as a professional pitcher, and maybe as a human being in general.
Part I: Luke Hughes is up with one out in the bottom of the sixth. Danks has already been tagged for four runs against the Twins' New Rochbritainchester lineup (including Danny Valencia's bloop of all bloops), but the White Sox had battled back from 4-0 to get within 4-3. Danks was finding his groove. The count was 1-2 on Hughes, when Danks delivered a thigh-high fastball a couple inches toward Hughes from being right down the middle. It was very clearly strike three. Hughes was prepared to walk back to the dugout. The home plate umpire from Tuesday's game, the one with the massive strike zone, would have rung up Hughes and also declared him ineligible for his next at-bat. But Ted Barrett somehow called it a ball. Danks did a fair amount of what seemed to be loud muttering. The griping only increased when he threw two more pitches that missed the strike zone, putting Hughes on first base with a walk.
Part II: After retiring Joe Benson (and his excellent mullet), Danks was still in good shape. Man on first, two outs, Jason Repko at the plate. Things looked even better when Hughes took off for second, guessing wrong as Danks threw over to first. Justice would be done. The man who never should have been on first would be wiped out on the basepaths.
Part III: Ah, but Paul Konerko's throw from first base sailed pretty much right in between Omar Vizquel and Alexei Ramirez. Hughes was safe.
Part IV: But that's not all. This is September, after all. There is nothing for which to play. Guys who never imagined they would be a part of the play aren't necessarily hustling. So as Hughes takes off for third on the overthrow, the ball is still rolling into left-center (video here). Not only does he make it to third, he is sent home. And he makes it just ahead of the throw, giving the Twins a 5-3 lead.
Part V: Danks is bellowing into his glove as he leaves the field after retiring Repko. The run, of course, becomes the critical insurance run that allows the Twins to snap a losing streak and ensures that Danks takes the loss in the game. Of course.
