Vikings victory was farcical, but they can't afford to be picky about winning

CHICAGO – To honor the Vikings' 19-13 edging of the Chicago Bears, this column will be a disjointed mess that I will later claim as a tremendous accomplishment.

Sunday at Soldier Field, the Vikings almost lost to a team that had won one of its previous 15 games, and a backup quarterback, Tyson Bagent, who played at Shepherd University (we are not making this up), which lost in the Division II semifinals last year to the Colorado School of Mimes 44-13 while Bagent was credited with minus-48 yards rushing. (Fact check: It's the Colorado School of Mines. Not Mimes. That would have been weird.)

After five weeks of listening to their head coach harp on the importance of not fumbling, the Vikings fumbled three times, with Kirk Cousins once deciding that shoveling the football backward toward a random teammate is what a highly paid veteran quarterback should do, in the name of burlesque.

In the continuing spirit of farce, Cousins credited the victory to being inspired by the band Creed, the musical equivalent of a taunting penalty.

Because the game was ugly and the opponent was borderline incompetent, this Vikings' victory could and should be viewed with the kind of skepticism usually reserved for gas station sushi, and yet, like the best unleaded sashimi, it provided a modicum of nutritional value.

When any team wins an ugly NFL game, you can mock the aesthetics, but you can't argue with the math.

The Vikings needed to win, and they did. Think of the hundreds of days every year when no NFL team wins a game. The nature of the sport dictates that all victories are rare.

After the 49ers, the Vikings' schedule becomes relatively easy, just as star receiver Justin Jefferson should be preparing to return from a hamstring injury.

And while Jordan Addison, the logical temporary replacement for Jefferson as the Vikings' No. 1 receiver, dropped a long pass on Sunday, he also caught his fourth touchdown pass in his sixth NFL game. Jefferson needed 10 NFL games to catch his fourth touchdown.

The Vikings did not run the ball well on Sunday — until they had to, to run out the clock in the fourth quarter, and then Alexander Mattison rushed for 3, then 8 yards, to secure the first down that effectively ended the game.

Cousins fumbled twice. He also avoided throwing an interception.

The Vikings didn't play well, but they often play poorly in Chicago and lose. Winning in Chicago can never be taken for granted.

For the second time in three games, the Vikings used strong performances from their defensive stars to produce a defensive touchdown. In Carolina, it was Harrison Smith producing three sacks and forcing a key fumble. Sunday, it was Danielle Hunter producing two sacks and knocking Bears starter Justin Fields out of the game, and linebacker Jordan Hicks intercepting a pass and returning a fumble for a touchdown.

For those hoping that the Vikings would lose so they could improve their draft status, USC quarterback and theoretical top pick Caleb Williams threw three interceptions in a blowout loss at Notre Dame on Saturday night. If Williams wants to play with Jefferson, it may have been the first instance of a player tanking to fall to a specific team.

"We're not going to be picky about how we get a win," Vikings coach Kevin O'Connell said.

If he were picky, he'd throw this one back. Instead, he and the Vikings get to take their places alongside other vanquishers of Tyson Bagent, like the Colorado School of Mines.