OK, so I got a Miata. You all knew I would.
Really, what did you expect? I'm an active retired guy who owned a Triumph Spitfire b.c. (before children). During the ensuing dreary succession of sedans and station wagons, I never forgot the joys of downshifting, of rounding (squaring?) corners at the speed limit, of negotiating curving roads at twice the speed suggested by those wimpy yellow signs below the curvy arrows, of producing that wonderful exhaust snarl, like an adolescent tiger, whenever I accelerated, which was often.
Ten years ago, children long grown up and on a foolish impulse, I replaced what I hoped would be my last sedan with a silver '99 Mazda Miata. It was everything the Spitfire had been without having to be in the shop one week out of every four. All summer long, I downshifted and squared corners and snarled to my heart's content and the neighborhood's alarm.
But there were problems. I could transport only one grandchild at a time. The trunk held no more than a medium-sized suitcase or a single sack of groceries, groceries that were all over the trunk by the time I had squared and snarled my way home from the store. And I was still working, which meant that I didn't have the time to devote to my toys that I now have. Then came winter, and a drafty, claustrophobic convertible top, and wheels spinning and skidding on the ice. In the spring, reluctantly, I ended the relationship.
But I didn't forget. When I retired two years ago, I suddenly had time to play with all my toys. I had a backup sedan (a Mazda 3, in fact — great fun to drive, but the top doesn't go down) and the means to buy a used Miata/Solstice/Ion.
I needed only to subdue a conscience that for some reason would not allow me to spend several thousand dollars on something that had no useful purpose whatsoever. My other toys — the Scamp, the telescope (8-inch Dob, for those in the know), the kayaks, the canoe, the bicycles, the home theater — I share with friends and grandkids, thereby enriching their lives and mine. But a crude, rough, loud little car whose only purpose is to provide fun fun fun?
Then granddaughter Micaela told me how sad she had been when I sold my Miata before she was even old enough to drive, and that settled the matter. Youth must be served. I found a slightly blemished 2001 Miata on CarGurus.com, took delivery in Mankato and drove my new baby back to the Cities along the Minnesota River. By the time I got home — windblown, sunburned, half-deafened — our relationship was solid.
Since that day, I've discovered several uses for the perfectly useless, the utterly impractical, that have quieted my conscience, or at least allowed me to ignore its nagging.