Lions head coach Jim Schwartz admitted what everyone in the free world knows: his squad got away with a facemask penalty on the very Vikings-like play that ended all hope of a purple victory on Sunday. But instead of just admitting it, Schwartz had to get all Schwartz-y on the subject. Per Mlive.com:

"Yeah, we grabbed the facemask."

OK, thanks Jim. It was nice of you to notice and admit that. It won't change the outcome, but still. Thanks.

"But there are probably about three or four other plays in that game where guys got a facemask or guys got a hold."

Um.

"There's a couple of fourth-down plays where I think we're getting held where they convert fourth down. If they don't convert that play, the end doesn't even matter."

Does this guy really look like Jim Schwartz?

Jim, you're losing us here.

"There was a horse collar on Stefan Logan that negated a big return. We had a holding penalty on it, but we could've had that ball re-kicked, and Stefan Logan was hot. They were having a hard time handling him, and he was able to make some plays."

Never mind.

To summarize: The Lions cheated. But the Vikings cheated way worse several other times, and in any event WE NEVER WOULD HAVE HAD TO CHEAT IF THOSE CHEATING CHEATERS HAD BEEN STOPPED FROM CHEATING FIRST.

/Takes ball

//Goes home