Spending can feel good if you are buying things that are important to you

The most challenging clients I work with are those who always want more.

It isn’t only because those wants can be unreasonable, it is because the things that they think they want are external, Morgan Housel writes in his book, “The Art of Spending Money,” in which he says “core ingredients cannot be purchased, only earned.”

Core ingredients are the things that can’t be measured such as love, friendship or meaning.

In order to learn the art of spending, you have to discern what things are important to you and are consistent with who you are, rather than spending on things for status purposes, chasing the values of others.

The core things you seek represent what matters to you, not what you think inflates you in the eyes of others.

Housel claims there are two ways to use money: “One is a tool to live a better life. The other is as a yardstick of success to measure yourself against other people. The first is quiet and personal, the second is loud and performative. It’s so obvious which leads to a happier life.”

Spending is an important thing to learn. When we save, we are purchasing an imagined future. Every dollar we spend today, comes at a cost to that future, but, if spent in a meaningful way, is well worth it.

What are the steps you can take to be a better spender?

First, unless you have received an inheritance, recognize that you have made a choice to trade a portion of your life for the money you have. Be intentional about making that trade worthwhile.

Second, sometimes you won’t know whether your spending is effective until after you spend it. That means, though, that you need to pay attention to whether what you have bought or done created what you hoped it would.

If it did, continue to spend in those areas. If it didn’t, be ruthless in cutting things out.

And those effects need to go beyond the immediate dopamine rush you get from buying something, but rather be based on whether this has improved your life more than the amount of life you spent to get it. Everyone has different things that are meaningful to them, so determine what is most meaningful to you as you make your spending choices.

If these choices are internal to you, don’t let others’ relationship with money influence your own. If you find yourself rationalizing your money choices, it may be a hint that they are not truly your own.

Fourth, be creative with your spending and match it to your values. For example, if you are concerned about how immigration enforcement may be impacting your community, dine out at small restaurants that are impacted by this.

No matter what your beliefs are, charity is not the only thing you can do to support them.

Fifth, when you make a decision to not spend directly on something today, spend on your future. If you consciously made a choice to not buy something online, move that money into a savings or investment account. You still get to spend.

“Contentment is what you have relative to what you want and desire is a hidden form of debt that must be repaid before you get to feel any happiness,” Housel writes.

Is there a way for you to appreciate what you have even while you define goals for future things that are important to you?

If you are someone who doesn’t feel settled internally, start the year by reflecting on why you may feel that way, rather than on what you need to buy to fix it.