Midwest? North? We are who we are, and get over it

There has been a lot of discussion lately about Minnesota's "branding." Are we Midwestern? Upper Midwestern? Northern? Wisconsin West? Something else?

We have to be honest. We have always been insecure about who we are. (How many people remember the "Minneapple"?) There is something overly modest in the psyche of the Minnesotan that stops us from busting out and admitting who we are.

I wanted to resolve this once and for all. Here it is: We are the smart kid who everyone wanted to copy off of in math class. Make peace with it. We invented Scotch tape, for Pete's sake.

We were never going to be picked as the one most likely to succeed (New York) or as the hardest partyer (New Orleans) or as the suave guy who could dance (Miami) or as the duuude (Los Angeles). We're the one who made parents say: "They are so nice! Why don't you hang out with them more?"

We bowl more, bike more, buy fewer Barcaloungers and join zombie hordes more. If you are a national company, you want to come here, because we educate our kids, stay late and get our work done, no matter how menial or stupid the job. Because it is the right thing to do. We are Minnesota Nice. Get over it.

Now, branding means figuring out what makes us different from everyone else and telling people. We have to celebrate who we are, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us. So here are some modest proposals to help.

Gov. Wendell Anderson hit it on the head decades ago when he was on the cover of Time magazine with the label "The Good Life." What was he wearing? A plaid shirt.

Wisconsin already has cheese and the pork palace staked out. North Dakota finally claimed kuchen. It is time to brand some more iconic food. Minneapolis, you already scored the Jucy Lucy. St. Paul should immediately stake out the bahn mi as its iconic sandwich. Grab pho on the way, too, before someone else does. Up North, you have the walleye sandwich, pasty and poteca, but can someone make the pie shake an official drink?

It is a simple council resolution to declare these historic foods — and something we can use to fight the New York Times the next time they shove grapes with sour cream at us.

And Minneapolis, it may be too late to save the place, but maybe a little historic designation to make sure Nye's doesn't become another soulless condo?

We have made travel easy, because we are good kids and it is the right thing to do. Lindbergh is now "Terminal 1" and Humphrey is now "Terminal 2." The Hiawatha Line is now the "Blue Line," the same as in every other major metropolitan area. It is the right thing to do, but it kills our soul just a bit.

We could have kept them "Lindbergh Terminal 1" and "Humphrey Terminal 2." It could just as easily be the "Hiawatha Blue Line." And the Central Corridor? Go back to its original name: "The Interurban" — way cooler than "Green Line."

We don't have to be "Midwestern" or "Northern." We can just be more of who we are.

Carol Becker is a teacher in Minneapolis.