Q I'm still out of work after nearly two years. I'm actively trying to find a job, but am getting pretty discouraged. I could use some help finding ways to keep my spirits up and beat the isolation I'm feeling.
A Set up structure, reach out to people and don't give up hope.
The inner game
First of all, you have my compassion. You're caught in a systemwide problem, and there aren't easy solutions to finding a job -- as you well know. Yet, for many people, being out of work brings a feeling of shame. If you're experiencing that, it's time to set it aside. Joblessness doesn't mean that you've failed or that you're unworthy.
In fact, you aren't completely powerless. You still can control how you use your time. Look at the choices you're making in that regard to determine if you're using your time in ways that'll maintain or build energy, rather than dragging you down.
Examine your job search strategies. Finding new steps to take and conducting your search in a businesslike way may help you set it aside once you've done what you need to each day.
Then review the "people" aspect of your life. Are you staying connected with people? Meeting new ones? Notice the mix between people who are in a similar situation and other family and friends. Consider where the gaps in a satisfying mix of social connections are so that you can begin to address them.
The outer game
Holding a job provides a schedule and social interaction. Maintaining these aspects will help avoid discouragement and isolation.
First, the schedule. List all of your time commitments. Put your job search activities front and center: networking time, application time, interview practice time, and so on. If you aren't spending dedicated time on your job search each week, it's time to build it in, because finding a job is your job now.
One of the key complaints about joblessness is feeling useless. Counter this by making a volunteer commitment to a school, church, or nonprofit. I don't mean a one-time stint helping out. I'm talking about an ongoing engagement in an area where you have expertise. If you're in finance, help in their offices. If you're in a trade, offer those skills. This will provide a sense of meaning (and may even lead to job opportunities). Then structure this time into your schedule.
Build in recreation, exercise, and spiritual practice, too. Even though you're out of work, you don't have to deprive yourself of the good things. There are plenty of free or low-cost things to do; involve others to help maintain your social connections.
It's easy to build a schedule but harder to stay with it. Check in with yourself every week to see how you're doing, and get someone to help you stay accountable.
Volunteering will help you meet people; using job clubs can help, too. If you don't have options nearby, try online support groups. Again, the key is in actively using the resources you find.
The last word
It's a tough time. Build a structure for yourself and stay connected with people to maintain energy and a sense of meaning.
What challenges do you face at work? Send your questions to Liz Reyer, a credentialed coach and president of Reyer Coaching & Consulting in Eagan. She can be reached at liz@deliverchange.com or 651-398-4765. Questions also can be submitted at www.deliverchange.com/coachscorner.