Q: I work for a swooper. She gives me authority over people and projects, then swoops in and takes over. This causes confusion, rework and frustration for a lot of people. She has good ideas, but how can I get her to channel them appropriately?
Syd, 38, art director
A: It's in your court to be clear about your needs and expectations.
I assume that when you say it causes "frustration for a lot of people," that includes you. For starters, then, you will need to get yourself calmed down. Discussing this when you are riled up won't be helpful.
If you have been holding this in for a while, it might not be easy. Look for some low-risk ways to vent, maybe to a friend or by writing out your feelings. Think about the situation from her point of view, too, to try and bring some additional empathy to soften your reactions.
Assuming the identity of a third-party observer, write out the situations that have occurred. This will help you be objective as you discuss this with your boss. Include a description of ways things could have been improved.
Look at your role in this dynamic. Perhaps you are carrying an aura of uncertainty, giving her the sense that you need her help.
Also refresh your memory of the positive aspects of working with her to bring a full view to the table.