A Russian poet who was visiting a wealthy American in his home noticed a huge, magnificent moose head mounted on the wall. He asked his host how he could shoot such an impressive animal.
"It was easy," said the American. "He didn't look me in the eye. If he had looked me in the eye, I couldn't have shot him."
My good friend Nido Qubein, president of High Point University in North Carolina, told me this story to illustrate the power of establishing eye contact.
"When you look people in the eye, they become more than passing acquaintances," Qubein said. "They become people with whom you interact, if only briefly."
He added: "When speaking to anyone, whether it's your mother or an audience of thousands, try to establish eye contact. If you don't, your listeners may tune you out."
Numerous studies conducted over the years have confirmed that eye contact plays an important role in both verbal and nonverbal communication. A person can communicate with their eyes and never say a word.
Susan Young, in her book "The Art of Body Language," writes: "One simple glance can convey to your recipient that you are … present, interested, paying attention, being respectful, listening, confident, engaged, caring, dedicated, appreciative, emphatic, focused, supportive, trustworthy, acknowledging, excited. This list barely scratches the surface; however, it opens the conversation about how vital your eye contact is for making positive first impressions."
Unfortunately, eye contact has become somewhat of a lost skill. Many people seem to be constantly looking down at their smartphone, even though individuals are right in front of them. You might need to disconnect to connect with people.