Frank Cerabino: Now corporations want bumper space

Commentary

In the continuing effort to turn Florida into a giant outdoor phallus of corporate opportunity, state lawmakers are looking into allowing company ads on license plates.

I've always said we don't have enough options on Florida specialty license plates, which now come in only 123 charity-supporting varieties.

So it makes sense to give for-profit companies a chance to adorn a plate with an ad for their products or services.

The companies would pay the state $75 for each motorist choosing their plate. Florida drivers who opt for a corporate plate would get a 50 percent reduction in the annual registration fee for their vehicles.

This means that the state would get an extra $39 to $52 for each corporate tag.

Sounds like a win-win-win situation. But it's best not to think too hard about this idea. Yet another reason for road rage.

For starters, if a Florida bank is involved, a prudent precaution would be to require that the bank's name on the plate be displayed on removable tape to allow for sudden mergers or involuntary shutdowns.

And not every company seems especially suited for a Florida license plate.

Sure, Hooters would be a natural. In fact, a Hooters specialty plate could probably still incorporate the two oranges on the standard Florida plate, although I'm guessing the company may choose to opt for grapefruits.

But what about Target? A bull's-eye is not exactly a comforting image to have on the back of your car considering the ambient levels of road rage.

Maybe that big ding you got in a parking lot wasn't really the result of an inadvertent door swing from an adjacent car, but the premeditated act of a temporarily insane vegan reacting to the giant cheeseburger pictured on your official state license plate.

Actually, Texas already has a giant cheeseburger on its Mighty Fine Burgers corporate license plate.

Yes, that's another thing to consider. We'd be following the lead of Texas, which is almost never a good idea.

Another potential problem with corporate license plates is that they could take a bite out of the 1.4 million people who are supporting charities with the existing specialty license plates.

"If specialty plates sales dropped significantly, the various programs supported by those revenues would be impacted, but it is not possible to determine to what degree sales would be affected," according to a legislative staff analysis of the corporate license plate bill.

In other words, the manatees might have to start saving themselves.

Unless ... there's a lot of empty space on the backs of those sea cows for corporate ads.

Distributed by Cox Newspapers. Frank Cerabino writes for the Palm Beach Post.