Dollars & Sense: The frugal lover

Travis Bestal of Dennison, Minn., and his partner set a limit of $100 for Valentine's Day spending this year. Angelina Allen of Roseville, who is unattached, said she has never discussed a budget with boyfriends before, but would now. Erik Olson and his wife plan to take advantage of free museum passes offered through their employers and set a spending limit of $50 to $75. "It's wise at any time to talk about budgets, but especially now," said Olson, of St. Paul.

Valentine's Day spending is expected to decrease nationwide by about 15 percent this year, according to Brand Keys in New York, a brand and customer loyalty consulting company. Yeesh, such talk of diminishing expectations can take the bloom off the red, red rose if you let it. So don't. Change the day and make it all your own.

And what a difference a day makes. When the calendar flips to Feb. 14, the price of roses doubles, hotel suites jump 20 percent or more, and dinner at a nice restaurant often starts at $100 per couple, if you can get a reservation. One day earlier or later and many of those prices return to normal levels. See where this is leading?

When the times are tough, the tough get creative, said Ruth Hayden, a Twin Cities-based financial educator who also counsels couples about money. So what does Hayden think about celebrating Valentine's Day on an alternate date to save money? She thinks it's important for a couple to talk about it first. "Yes, it's a manufactured holiday, but don't start the discussion by saying money is tight," she advises. It's better for the couple to start the conversation by saying, "We know we love each other and we want to do something to celebrate, so let's beat the system."

But beating the system isn't without risk. A word of caution on honesty. Bringing up the B word risks letting the air out of the love balloon. Hayden said that after a couple agree to stick to a budget, the potential of a "wow" gift is gone. "Disappointment will set in, but they'll feel smarter, responsible and loved when the credit card bill doesn't have an ugly surprise," she said.

Amr Barrada, a psychologist with a practice in Edina, said that couples celebrating their first or second Valentine's Day together might not feel as comfortable talking about money. Still, he advises the direct approach, saying something such as, "I really want to get you a great present, but I'm hurting for money. Is it OK if we get a little more creative this year?"

One way to be creative is to celebrate early or late, depending upon which token of your love you're after. Here are some strategies:

Flowers: Shop early on Sunday or a week later. Before Valentine's Day, two dozen roses cost about $16 at Costco or Sam's Club. Prices usually double by Valentine's Day. Don't assume that all florists will discount on the 15th. Red or pink roses may get prices snipped, but only if there's an oversupply at the store. Cub Foods floral departments won't be discounting Valentine's or other bouquets on the 15th since the 14th falls on a weekend, said spokeswoman Lee Ann Jorgenson. For everyday low prices, try Aldi discount foods. They have a dozen long-stemmed roses for $17 Thursday through Saturday. The everyday low price for six roses with greens is $4 while supplies last.

Cards: Bad news on this one. It's nearly impossible to find a card shop that discounts its sweetheart cards on the 15th. Most seasonal cards are sent back to the manufacturer, saved for next year or discounted on a summer sale, said Kristin Noraker of Stroke of the Heart greeting cards in Minnetonka. Many retailers won't buy seasonal cards unless the manufacturer takes back the unsold ones after the big day. Granted, cards are an inexpensive way to express your love. Alternative: Make your own greeting cards and write your own messages. Some gift shops such as Bibelot sell card-making kits ($6.50) that include four cards and stencils to impart your own handmade, homespun Hallmark moment.

Valentine's miscellany: Shop late. Whether it's the red satin boxers usually found at Target or the cheeky tokens from Walgreens such as temporary tattoos (50 cents) or chocolate body paint ($10), it will only be on sale if there is a clear Valentine theme going on. Victoria's Secret sells red and pink lingerie year-round, and you can bet it won't be discounted on the 15th.

Restaurants: Go early or late. Even if you can get a fine dining reservation at this late date on Valentine's, you'll probably have to pay a minimum of $100 per couple for a prix fixe menu. Better to share a candlelight dinner at home or find a weeknight when you can take advantage of dining specials.

Hotel suites: Even at Burnsville's FantaSuite, themed rooms that normally go for $199 on a weekend go for $275 on the 14th (sold out). A random check of local hotel prices online showed a minimum of a 20 percent upcharge on Valentine's Day compared with the 13th or the following weekend. When looking for a deal, keep in mind that business hotel rates will be cheaper on the weekends and family hotels will be cheaper on weeknights.