Q: I have a good boss, but she is very chatty. At meetings, we never get through my agenda items and it's hard to get her focused enough to make decisions. This makes my job more difficult. How can I handle this without making her mad?
A: Focus on what you want rather than explaining what you don't want.
The inner game
This type of day-to-day issue can get under your skin, so take stock to ensure that it isn't damaging your relationship. It sounds like you're looking for improvement to a good situation, and that's the point of view you'll want to hold onto.
Spend some time thinking about your boss' behavior. Are there times when her talkative nature is an asset? Perhaps it's useful to set people at ease. Consider what drives it, as well. If she is more extroverted by nature, she may just operate this way instinctively. Or it may be a coping mechanism, for example, if she's nervous during a conversation.
Reflect on tactics you've used that have been successful with her or that have worked for you in dealing with others. Also notice other people's strategies for managing her. Your co-workers may have figured out some ways to get her focused.
Notice your role in the dynamic. Do you tend to be talkative, too, and get distracted? Or are you being more passive than is beneficial?
The outer game
If you've identified some tried-and-true approaches, then make a plan to use them consistently with her, and that may address the issue. However, if you're just starting to take steps to manage this, here are some ideas to consider.
First of all, talk about the dynamic with her. Use "me" statements so that you don't put her on the spot. For example, you might say, "When we run out of time to discuss all the items on our agenda, I feel anxious because I won't be able to move forward on my projects."
