Clearance Clarence: Is there a better name for the Target Field bird?

Commenter Clarence Swamptown is back with his increasingly popular feature "Clearance Clarence," which is basically an unfiltered plunge into his soul. It's a terrifying place, but there are sweet rewards. This week, his greatest contribution is yet another in a line of great visuals. As usual, the opinions expressed regarding gossip and the Twins bullpen via Clearance Clarence don't necessarily represent those of RandBall or the Star Tribune. Clarence?

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*Country & Western Song of the Week: I hereby declare Rootless Tree by Damien Rice (slight language warning) to be the official breakup song for the city of Cleveland and LeBron.

*Has anyone watched the new Broad Street Bullies documentary on HBO? It is awesome. I could spend an entire day on the internet watching old hockey fight videos. And I have.

*Outstate Bar of the Week: In the late 1990's I lived alone in the basement of a house in Thief River Falls, Minn. The basement was a dump. It was just one big concrete room with a shower, toilet, sink and refrigerator. I slept on an old couch in the corner. The place had concrete walls, concrete stairs, and a concrete floor with a drain pipe in the middle. The basement would flood horribly when it rained, so my landlord would pro-rate my rent for any rain days. Consequently, I spent a lot of time in the local bars. Just west of town, about halfway to Warren, there was a rundown bar called "Carpenter's Corner." The owner was about 90 years old and he slept on a cot behind the bar. The place was usually empty, so when you walked in you had to shake the bartender to wake him up. Or you could just help yourself, leave your money, and walk away without ever disturbing his sleep. I miss that place.

*Context-Free Diagram of the Week: