Meet the Packers apologist whom KFAN listeners love to hate

It’s a border battle that takes place weekly on the Twin Cities’ top-rated sports talk radio show during the NFL season.

Green Bay Packers apologist Carl Gerbschmidt bashes all things Minnesota on KFAN’s “Bumper to Bumper” show hosted by Dan Barreiro. And the often-sarcastic broadcaster turns his dweeby guest into a punching bag as they try to predict the outcome of the week’s pro football games.

Their telephone exchanges tend to get testy, with the whiny guest often hanging up without saying “goodbye.”

Despite having appeared with Barreiro since 2001, Gerbschmidt remains a bit of a mystery to his 38,000 followers on X (@TheRealCarlG) and myriad radio listeners.

KFAN loyalists know that the Packers sycophant with the cartoonishly high-pitched voice is one of the 500,000-plus owner/investors of the Green Bay team and a supervisor for the Wisconsin Department of Transportation. He’s also a serial entrepreneur who operates an exhibit focused on the 1967 Ice Bowl game and a bed-and-breakfast-and-lunch business, and he used to lead a dinner theater near his hometown of Elk Mound, Wis.

But Gerby, as Barreiro calls him, won’t say in which Wisconsin city he now resides. He doesn’t make public appearances. His phone number is unlisted.

Some KFAN listeners think Gerbschmidt is a fabricated radio bit. Some think he’s for real. In any case, station officials had Gerbschmidt call me in advance of the Vikings-Packers game on Jan. 4.

A: I’d say something like 42-nothing. Packers.

Q: You are very knowledgeable about point spreads and results vs. spreads.

A: I’m a supervisor, so I spend a lot of time online in my job. When you’re an owner — and I’m an owner of the Green Bay Packers — you have to know your football.

Q: When was the last time the Packers front office or coach listened to one of your many suggestions?

A: I don’t know for sure. We have a VIP owners inbox where we can send suggestions. Are you familiar with Tucker Kraft, he’s a tight end? I know for sure they were listening when they drafted him in like the third round. We send stuff in all the time. I don’t want to spill all the beans in a Minnesota newspaper. I know they [Packers officials] care what the owners think.

A: We don’t need to have a concert. Snoop Dogg? I’m a big rap fan. I liked rap all the way back to the ’70s. Like [he raps] “hip-hop hip-hop, the hippie to the hippie. You don’t stop rockin’. To the bang, bang the boogie. To the boogie, the beat.” The “Rapper’s Delight.” That’s what that is. I like the rap song Aerosmith did with those Run-DMC guys. Snoop is on “California Love” [remix] with 2Pac, two six-packs. That’s a banger.

Q: You don’t think you should have one of Wisconsin’s finest perform?

A: There’s a lot of music that comes out of Wisconsin. We get a lot of BoDeans stuff. And despite the fact they’re from Rockford, Ill., Cheap Trick kind of started in Wisconsin. I loved Cheap Trick, especially Bun E. Carlos, the drummer.

Q: Maybe the Packers could get Thunder, who is half of a Milwaukee Neil Diamond tribute band whose life story is featured in the new movie “Song Sung Blue”? She could sing the national anthem.

A: That movie is not about Neil Diamond? I’m not going to go see it. I thought it was like that Bob Dylan movie with Willy Wonka in it. We have football. Minnesota, I understand you have, No. 1, low-attention span; No. 2, low intelligence; and 3, bad football team. And this fake dragon that doesn’t blow fire anymore. And that fake snow. We have a good football team. We don’t need all that crap.

A: Jordan Love. Favre is All-Pro and Hall of Fame, and he left. Rodgers is All-Pro and Hall of Fame, and he left.

Q: Reggie White or Micah Parsons?

A: Oh, that’s tough. It’s a tremendous shame what happened to Micah [knee injury, out for season]. We’ll go Reggie ’cause God told him to come to Green Bay and he did.

Q: Ray Nitschke or Clay Matthews?

A: Nitschke. I mean I love Claymaker. One of my nephews’ middle name is Claymaker. I have like six different Ray Nitschke jerseys.

A: Why do you have to choose? Have ’em both. Eat them at the same meal even. You know what’s also underrated? Ring bologna. It’s the natural form of bologna.

Q: Why do you think Dan Barreiro gives you such a hard time on the radio?

A: Jealousy. A lot of sportswriters think they’d do a better job at being an owner or a coach. That’s why they ask those questions. Dan clearly can’t be. I think he’s jealous of what we have. He has a segment on his show called “Dairyland Diaries.” It’s all about Wisconsin. Trust me when I say we don’t any radio shows about Minnesota stuff. Minnesota Vikings aren’t even our rival. The Bears are our rival.

Q: What’s the best and worst thing about Barreiro?

A: The second one is a lot easier to answer than the first one. I think the best thing about Barreiro is — boy, oh boy — that’s really hard. I’m on his show. That’s pretty good. Who’s that lefty reporter who’s on his show? [Pat] Kessler. He’s kind of funny. The worst thing? No. 1, how does a guy work a show that’s two-and-a-half hours? To me, that’s lazy.

A: Do you think they’ll have a party for me? A commemorative T-shirt that I get a piece of? I should talk to music critics more often.

Q: I think you should have “Bumper to Bumper” retreat at your bed and breakfast and lunch. Invite all of Barreiro’s KFAN regulars like Pat Kessler and Lou Nanne and serve them Barreiro bratwurst burritos.

A: Barreiro bratwurst burrito? You’re just an idea guy. That’s a hell of an idea. But I’ve got to find a way to make money on that.

Q: At your bed and breakfast and lunch, are rooms named for Packer players?

A: Oh, that’s a brilliant idea. They will be soon.

A: Nothing we can release at this time. We made a lot of money when we sold packerfanconnections.com, our dating service for Packer fans.

Q: One question about your day job. When I drive in Wisconsin, I notice more roadkill in Wisconsin than in Minnesota. Why is that?

A: More wildlife in Wisconsin. It’s not my job to pick up roadkill. That is a local responsibility. When the cities are lazy and don’t want to do it, they want to put it on the Department of Transportation. It’s everybody’s responsibilities to keep the highways safe. I have another call.