Q I work with someone who agrees with action items in meetings, but she consistently sabotages them later. What can I do?
A Clarity, assertiveness and alliances will help you confront this situation.
The inner game
For starters, check out your feelings about the situation. "Sabotage" is a strong word; you may be angry, frustrated or suspicious. Consider the impact of holding on to these feelings. Be realistic, but don't let your emotions interfere with working on the issues involved.
Build your resolve. You'll need to be direct, which could lead to confrontation. If this creates some anxiety, plan ways to manage it.
Consider your colleague's perspective. Look for explanations that make her behavior understandable. Is she motivated by power? Perhaps she's holding a grudge. She may be oblivious to her pattern or have fears that cause her to backpedal.
Find out if others have the same problems. If you're the only one, get feedback about your interactions with her. If it's more widespread, ask others how they deal with it. Build on these conversations to form alliances that will help you deal with her behavior.
Chart the web of relationships. Whom does she involve when sabotaging plans, and what is the effect on you? If she's consistently going over or around you, prepare to protect your reputation. Also, take a broader look, assessing whether she has connections that enable her to get away with bad behavior.