Garrison: Let’s talk about menopause

Opinion editor’s note: Strib Voices publishes a mix of material from 11 contributing columnists, along with other commentary online and in print each day. To contribute, click here.

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Menopause is having a moment. And as a woman in my mid-40s, I’m here for it — whether I want to be or not.

My social feeds are overflowing with ads for perimenopausal fitness routines and supplements promising to combat night sweats and hot flashes.

Celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Halle Berry are openly sharing their personal struggles with the physical, emotional and mental toll menopause has taken on their bodies and spirits.

The subject is even giving rise to a whole new genre of influencers like Melani Sanders, aka @justbeingmelani, who founded the “We Do Not Care” Club for menopausal women. Sanders, who has 2 million followers on Instagram, says she started the club to release women going through what she calls “the change” of the judgment and expectations of everyday life. “We do not care if the AC is blowing and the seat heater is on. Our balance is not your business,” she said in one of her recent videos with her signature deadpan look.

Right on.

Menopause is a known and very much expected phase of life, yet somehow none of us seem to be ready for it. I, admittedly, was blissfully ignorant, believing it wasn’t something I’d have to worry about until well into my 50s.

Then I turned 44.

Within a matter of months, I’d put on 20 pounds, was waking up in a pool of my own sweat and toggling back and forth between my chipper self and a female version of the Incredible Hulk. One minute I’d be fine and the next I’d be storming around the house in a fit of rage. I honestly felt like I was going crazy and that I was no longer in control of my body or my emotions.

I had no idea the symptoms I was experiencing were all likely related to perimenopause. My mother, who was very open about sex, periods and the like, probably would have told me, but she died when I was just 21. So I started opening up to my girlfriends, most of whom are at least a few years older than me. Several had already experienced or were currently experiencing similar issues, but few knew they were in menopause. And those who did know acknowledged that they had no idea what it meant or what they should do.

Those conversations made me channel my inner toddler and start incessantly asking, “Why?”

Why aren’t medical professionals more prepared to help?

And why, once we know that we’re in menopause, isn’t there more clear direction on what we should do once we get here?

When I was pregnant with my first child, I pretty much knew exactly what to expect. I’m willing to bet most women of my era felt the same. Between family members, friends, my OB and my trusty copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting," I had the roadmap with all its possible ups and downs laid out for me month by month. Though it was still a period of uncertainty, it was a beautiful, magical and transformative time.

But menopause is different. There’s nothing beautiful or magical about it. It’s sweaty, smelly, confusing, frustrating and emotional. And historically, it’s not something anyone talked about. Like sex, politics and religion, menopause was considered a taboo topic. In fact, if you ask your moms, aunts and grandmothers, most will likely tell you they simply suffered alone in silence.

I’m not content to follow that same approach. As a classic extrovert and borderline over-sharer, I’d much rather face this phase of life with candor, humility and humor. I’m also a former journalist who was trained to seek out the truth. It’s these factors that drove me to pen this column as a contributing columnist for the Minnesota Star Tribune.

I hope to write at least once a month on a host of topics ranging from supplements, hormone replacement therapy, menopause support in the workplace and the impact menopause can have on mental health. And I want to hear from you — the women in perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause — about what you’re experiencing and the questions you have.

In addition to this column, I’ve launched the Menopause Mentorship Circle group on Facebook to serve as a space for supportive conversation among women in this phase of life. I invite women in any stage of menopause to join and contribute.

There’s a saying in business — that which gets measured gets done. I would argue the same is true of society — that which gets talked about gets addressed.