Sitting on opposite sides of a small table, Brawlly Parton and Angela Death glare at each other, their elbows planted on the table, their hands intertwined in a tight grip. At the command of "Start!" the women grimace and strain as each tries to overpower the other. The audience screams for their favorite. It's over in less than 30 seconds.
Death won by pinning Parton's hand to the table. But the judges, who were distracted by wads of money that had been slipped to them, counted up the loot, then declared Parton the winner.
Was the match fixed? No question about it.
Was it fun? A lot of people wouldn't question that, either.
The competition was part of an exhibition match for the Minnesota Arm Wrestling League for Ladies (MAWLL). The league has been in existence only since mid-January, and if the very notion of it gives you pause, the launch has been a success.
"My co-workers think it's weird, my brother thinks it's hilarious and my family just shake their heads," said Ellyn Grothem, emcee for the matches.
Much more campy than competitive, the league has these objectives: "shenanigans, arm wrestling and philanthropy." All three elements were on display at the match, which took place this month before a RollerGirls competition at Roy Wilkins Auditorium in St. Paul.
The antics start with the wrestler's stage names, which include the likes of Helga Hammerfist (a k a Linda Tyler) and Babe, the Blue Ox (Liz Elton) as well as the aforementioned Brawlly Parton (Sara Larsen) and Angela Death (Angela Hershberger).