Withering Glance: Why Minnesotans stick around

Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.

CP: When our friend John moved to the nation's capital this year, it made me realize how stable the Twin Cities are. I moved here for college and haven't budged. That was more than 60 years ago.

RN: Maybe not 60, dear. But let's just say that while this native Minnesotan was loathing each and every moment of the seventh grade, you were transporting yourself from your beloved Chicago to the Macalester College campus.

CP: Seriously, though, when so many other cities are revolving doors -- and in New York a BFF is someone you met last Thursday -- what is it that keeps us here so long?

RN: Don't ask me. Newcomers quickly discover that the winter weather isn't the only chilly thing around here. Because natives like me stick to Minnesota like white on rice, our lifelong roots make it tough for non-Minnesotans to break into our decades-old social circles.

CP: Tell me about it. I'm still praying for an invite to that all-Burnsville High kaffeeklatsch of yours.

RN: Hey, we're from Burnsville, so we have to be exclusive about something. But back to your question. After barely surviving this past winter, I'm beginning to question the sanity behind my allegiance to Frostbiteapolis.

RN: Are we talking the Guthrie's bold upcoming productions of "Charley's Aunt" and "The Sunshine Boys"?

CP: That's a whole 'nother column. No, I offer, as example, the annual, frightening appearance of the AquaJesters. Try finding a downtown full of clowns in Phoenix.

RN: Warm-weather states like Arizona often sport lower taxes. Tax rates in Minnesota are higher than average for a reason. We have to pony up for stuff so that living here -- at least from November to April -- doesn't totally bite.

CP: Stuff like potholes the size of Mini Coopers, you tax-and-spend liberal?

RN: And Gooseberry Falls State Park, effective public transportation, a vibrant University of Minnesota, public libraries, outdoor baseball and care for our least fortunate. I could go on.

RN: It's called priorities. Wait a minute, you're hardly Phil Krinkie.

CP: True. Another perverse pleasure of life in Minnesota is trying to convince people elsewhere that some of us do not enjoy "A Prairie Home Companion" or embody its ideals.

RN: Or convincing said people that you do not possess the dreaded Minnesota accent. By the way, it's not very Minnesota Nice of you to find fault in the Shining City on the Hill that is taxpayer-funded public radio. That's going to cost you your membership, mister. And possibly your driver's license.

E-mail: witheringglance@startribune.com.