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Withering Glance: We take off on 'Magic Mike'

July 7, 2012 at 9:42PM

Adam Rodriguez as Tito, Kevin Nash as Tarzan, Channing Tatum as Mike and Matt Bomer as Ken in “MAGIC MIKE.” (Warner Bros./The Minnesota Star Tribune)

Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.

RN: I'll admit I felt a bit sheepish saying the words "Magic Mike" to the nice high school girl behind the ticket counter at my local cineplex.

CP: I can't imagine why, given the guiltless zeal with which you sped to such other gal-centric movies as "Dreamgirls" and "Bridesmaids" on their opening weekends.

RN: Yes, but they weren't paeans to the bare, box-office- bonanza backsides of Joe Manganiello, Matthew McConaughey, Matt Bomer and Channing Tatum.

CP: Whadja think of this Velcro-and-Nair-for-Men epic?

RN: Since I was expecting a pecs-and-six-packs version of "Showgirls," it was practically "The King's Speech." You?

CP: With Steven Soderbergh directing, I figured it would be more than just nonstop stripping. And it was. I liked its look -- was Florida ever made more yellow-brown and dreary? I enjoyed the focus on personal finance and small-business operations in post-recession America. Plus, of course, the abs 'n' undies.

RN: McConaughey has got a body that could cut glass. He reminds me of the quote attributed to Catherine Deneuve about how hitting a certain age mandates choosing between the fanny and the face. He appears to be opting for the former. Works for me.

CP: I have never been able to stand him.

RN: He is best taken in small doses. "Bernie," for example.

CP: McConaughey and the equally vainglorious Nicole Kidman should marry. If he gave one more stripper a bro-hug followed by a back slap, I was going to hit the exit. And that late scene where he is "suddenly sinister"? Ridic. Channing Tatum's aw-shucks shtick can wear thin, but here I found him mostly charming and believable.

RN: And the man can dance. My favorite shot of Joe Manganiello -- is his ripped torso the real thing, or CGI? -- was when he was running a G-string through a Singer while wearing big horned-rimmed glasses, a la Marilyn Monroe in "How to Marry a Millionaire."

CP: I've seen a critical divide over Cody Horn, the best-looking medical transcriptionist in the Sunshine State. She plays Alex Pettyfer's protective, judgmental sister, drawn to the flame that is Mr. Tatum.

RN: Because her father ran the studio that produced "Magic Mike," the ever-snarky Gawker.com is referring to Miss Horn as "the new Tori Spelling." Heh.

CP: Haters be danged: I liked her. Her scenes with Tatum were way more interesting than the repetitive ones at the strip club.

RN: Houston Press film critic Pete Vonder Haar summed "Magic Mike" up best when he wrote, "See it with someone you might feel like dry humping later."