CP: What a beautiful day to be lunching in Maple Grove, where gravel pit meets P.F. Chang's, and to answer once and for all that burning question: Where do all those turquoise dress shirts sold with coordinating neckties find a home?
RN: First, meow. Second, the 763, obviously. But don't let that be your principal takeaway from our field trip to the Shoppes, Fountains and other various and sundry districts of this vast suburban showplace otherwise collectively known as Arbor Lakes.
CP: This squeaky clean, faux-front Main Street resembles a set for "The Truman Show."
RN: I hate to break it to you, but this is what most of America looks like. We're in what's known as a "lifestyle center." I hear that and immediately think, "gay lifestyle" center. You know, gyms, trendy restaurants, an Apple store. In other words, Uptown.
CP: Yeah, but try finding a Yankee Candle in Uptown, or a bulk-buy warehouse. In "downtown" Maple Grove, the ample street parking comes with no meters, which appeals to my inner cheapskate. OMG, a Dunn Bros. Perhaps I could grow to like it here.
RN: I always get a little nervous when I can't see the IDS Tower.
CP: There's that. Also, I might grow tired of the whole few-minorities thing.
RN: At least all of this sprawl is somewhat tempered by the legacy view of that gravel pit, which looks so much like a Martian landscape that I fully expect to see Curiosity come rolling over the horizon.
