We don't hang on his every word -- even his prepositions. His blood may not smell like cologne. I doubt that he can speak French in Russian. I have no idea whether he had an awkward moment just to see how it feels.
He's not the most interesting man in the world, but David Kahn, the Timberwolves' president of basketball operations, is still fascinating.
ESPN's Bill Simmons wrote this on Friday: Really, there are only two hopeless teams right now: Minnesota and New Jersey.
It's hard to argue with the point, but is the immediate future hopeless as well?
In all likelihood, this is Kahn's one and only chance to construct an NBA team. What he does these next two offseasons/trading deadlines will make or break him.
Even with the salary cap likely dropping by a few million dollars, the Wolves, along with six other teams, will have money to spend this summer. Cap room can also be used in trades.
Kahn will also have the luxury of having his own high draft pick come June and potentially two other top-20 picks.
In 13 tries, the Wolves have never moved up in the lottery, but let's dream for a second. If they got the No. 1 pick, Kentucky's John Wall would have to be the guy. He has similar traits to Derrick Rose (Bulls) and Dwyane Wade (heat) in his game.
But if Wall were to somehow end up here, he couldn't play in head coach Kurt Rambis' Triangle offense, could he? That question doesn't exactly fall under Kahn's umbrella, but he has a say. Could Wall co-exist with Jonny Flynn? What becomes of Ricky Rubio?
If the Wolves do land picks from Utah and Charlotte (both have protections attached), can those be turned into assets? The 2009 draft was considered to be the weakest in years. The 2010 draft is said to be the opposite.
This team desperately needs a really good wing player more than anything else. If that player becomes available (maybe Memphis' Rudy Gay) before the February deadline, does Kahn pull the trigger and possibly put the team's lottery chances in danger?
How badly is he willing to overpay for just a slightly above-average free agent (Travis Outlaw)? Where/how does center Nikola Pekovic fit in? Or is he just another tradable asset?
At a recent game, rapper Chamillionaire, not any player, received the loudest cheers. Sidenote: Denny Hecker sitting next to Chamillionaire might have been the goofiest random combination since Tiger Woods and the server from Perkins.
More so than any sports venue in town, the few people who show up do so to be seen. The fans who truly care are dwindling by the day. Many games are not televised locally. Sidenote No. 2: Why hasn't more been made of this?
A friend recently told me that a co-worker of his bought a new Lexus before the season and was given good lower-level Wolves season tickets. He tried to sell them for 10 percent of face value and could only move the Lakers, Cavs, and Celtics games.
The very successful 2004 season is not that far removed. Target Center was the place to be. It's up to Kahn more than anyone else to recapture that winning environment.