Why we need a little more 'hygge' this holiday season

One really isn't the loneliest number after all. People who live with others or frequently spend time with others are reporting feeling increasingly lonely, according to recent research. And being distracted and "busy" might be the main culprits. In other words, Americans are feeling increasingly lonely because we're all emptied out.

Last week I witnessed a strange but beautiful anomaly. A group of older people, many decked out in knitted Christmas sweaters, coming together on a neon-lit stage to get an entire crowd at Mancini's to singalong to a karaoke rendition of "Sweet Caroline." Karaoke regulars? Couples on dates? Neighbors?

It turns out they were all once high-school classmates, graduating together more than half a century ago. They reconnected at their 50th high school reunion and have been joining together in song at Mancini's the first Tuesday of every month for the past four years. Sometimes, one of the women told me, 20 former classmates show up.

Friendships reignited after decades, or lasting for 40 years, is a modern-day holiday miracle. And despite our fairly newish ability to stay connected through social media, it's the younger generations--X, Y, Millennials--that might be the least likely to experience that type of friendship longevity.

While many of us are getting ready for holiday parties and gatherings, an increasing number of Americans are feeling socially isolated and alone. According to recent studies, about 25 percent of Americans report being "frequently lonely." And when it comes to "Worst Cities for Strong Social Ties," Minneapolis takes the No. 7 spot.

To be sure, deep loneliness can be present even when we are around other people. And social-networking sites may provide people with a false sense of connection that ulitmately increases loneliness. From Newsweek:

Loneliness, researchers contend, is a natural adaptive response designed to make us protect and care for one another.

The Danes, who experience even longer and darker winters than ours, have one age-old solution for isolation and loneliness: Hygge. And like loneliness itself, it's more about a feeling than about real-world intentions.

And if slowing down doesn't work, there's always the idea of communal love. In a recent essay on "Why We Marry the Wrong People" on the Philosopher's Mail, the writer suggests a new form of "free love" could help shift our concept of contentedness. "When company is only properly available in couples, people will pair up just to spare themselves loneliness. It's time to liberate 'companionship' from the shackles of coupledom, and make it as widely and as easily available as sexual liberators wanted sex to be."