Why no thank-you note, grads?

Just one of the many graduates we gave gifts to has responded with handwritten gratitude.

July 22, 2014 at 6:52AM
Cards don't have to be all right angles. Stand out from the squares with Paper Source's Die-Cut Bracket thank you notes (paper-source.com, $16.50 for 10). They're elegant without being stuffy -- just like you, right? For college grads, these cards prove you're not a kid anymore. (Paper Source/MCT) ORG XMIT: 1120895
Graduation card (The Minnesota Star Tribune)

This summer has been the busiest in our lives with graduation celebrations. We don't have kids, but we've been honored to celebrate with others. I was born in 1953, and my parents taught me to write well-written, cursive thank-you notes almost immediately after receiving lovely gifts, for any occasion. This year, my husband and I have given numerous and generous monetary gifts as well as some custom items we knew our friends' children would appreciate for their college years.

To date, we have received only one beautiful handwritten thank-you note. One! To us, an e-mail thank-you is worthless. Anyone can push a few keys and hit "send." If you cared enough to send us a photo invite, you should know our home address. Is buying a stamp that difficult? And please don't even try to explain that "there isn't enough time."

I am appalled. Graduations happened in June. It is now July 21. School supplies and college dorm furniture is being purchased. For many, school starts in one month.

I know parents are busy, but too busy to teach their children manners — manners that will carry them through life? I know the kids are busy. But through the summer, they still have time to talk with friends, "hang out," and play video games and sports.

Expressions of gratitude and appreciation will be just as vital through college, work and beyond. I know they carried me a long distance during my very successful career.

Is spending 15 minutes on a personalized note asking too much?

My husband and I don't "give" anything in return for huge amounts of gratitude. But recognition that we invested considerable time, effort and hard work for the monetary gifts and other items we gave would be nice.

Melissa Cohen Silberman lives in Golden Valley.
about the writer

about the writer

MELISSA COHEN SILBERMAN

More from Commentaries

See More
card image
Jerry Holt/The Minnesota Star Tribune

It is about showing up — repeatedly — grounded in history, guided by conscience and unwilling to outsource responsibility to symbols, slogans or someone else’s courage.

card image
card image