Why is wearable tech considered the next Big Thing? Because the tech industry, including its media cheerleaders, need a new subject. A new sparkly future to dangle out of reach and make us yearn for the day when the object lands in our hands and everything’s different. Better. More productive. Something that changes our lives as much as the smartphone. I have a hard time recalling life before the smart phone, when everything digital was accessible anywhere. But I’m sure I’m no happier or satisfied now than I was then. Or unhappier. You incorporate these tools into your life, find out that some things have changed for the worse - oh, great, email everywhere - and lots of things are now easier. You can ask your phone to find you a Thai restaurant on Lyndale, and it will! Granted, the search result is Lakevillle, Florida, but that’s your fault for mumbling.

But wearable tech will change everything! You’ll have sensors that will download all your biometric information into health apps, and heads-up displays will let you see menus floating in space before you go into a restaurant! True. The old days of reading a menu posted behind plexiglass near the door will be gone forever. Everything will have changed. For example, you will become used to the non-intuitive act of speaking into your wrist.

That’s an ad for Samsung’s ugly new smart watch, which tethers to a particular model of phone. It’s an interesting pitch: since visions of the high-tech future always have people talking to their wrist, that’s what we want, right? That’s the way it should be, right? I don’t know. On one hand - sorry - it seems a step back from chatting away at nothing, with the little earpiece transmitting your words. But perhaps we need to talk to something. At something. Either we’re trained by decades of telephones to address a receptacle, or it fills a human need to aim our words at something.

But not anything. If they made a thin film that fit in the palm of your hand, no one would want it, because A) it would seem like you were talking to yourself, and B) coffee breath.

We’ll see what Apple comes up with. I suspect it won’t look like someone strapped a pack of cigarettes on your wrist.

SPACE Don’t count on the Russians to fight aliens. They’re not ready. Russian Times has the disappointing news:

In a surprising move, an apparently serious journalist raised this question of extraterrestrial security during a media conference at the Titov Main Test and Space Systems Control Center near Moscow, Russia’s main satellite control center.
“So far we are not capable of that. We are unfortunately not ready to fight extraterrestrial civilizations,” the center’s deputy chief Sergey Berezhnoy explained.

“Our center was not tasked with it. There are too many problems on Earth and near it,” he added.

Titov space center, which is run by Russia’s Aerospace Defense Troops, controls around 80 percent of the country’s satellite fleet, both military and civilian. It is also engaged in launches of spacecraft and strategic ballistic missiles. The facility located about 40km southwest of Moscow is manned by some 1,000 officers and soldiers.

The fact that they took the question seriously and answered it makes me think they’re lying, and know something.

COMICS Wonderful Atlantic mag piece on the incredible full-page comics of the early 20th century.  And what do we have? Garfield and Crankshaft.

That's not entirely fair - most of the strips back then were uninspired, but it makes you wish modern artists - and newspapers - would do something like this today. Immense webcomics aren't the same. You don't have to scroll a newspaper page. 

THE FIRST TWO DOCTORS If I cared about this show, I’d be over the moon about this:

A group of dedicated Doctor Who fans tracked down at least 100 long-lost episodes of the show gathering dust more than 3,000 miles away in Ethiopia.

It was feared the BBC ­programmes from the 1960s – featuring the first two doctors William Hartnell and Patrick Troughton – had vanished for all time after the Beeb flogged off a load of old footage.

But after months of ­detective work the tapes have been unearthed at the Ethiopian Radio and Television Agency.

For fans, it’s amazing news - it’s like being a Star Trek fan because you watched “Next Generation,” and learning they’d found the first three seasons of the original show, which had been lost since 1970. Some fans are wary:

I hope this is true, but for one 106 episodes are missing, and the missing 9 episodes of The Dalek Master Plan were never sold abroad, so this means it can't be over 100, 1 episode (The Feast of Seven) was never even recorded onto film from Videotape.

The story was published today. The date-stamp on the comments ranges from tomorrow to last June. Almost as if Time Lords were writing them.

VIDEO Never, ever put the 100 Proof stuff on the top shelf. The alcohol is just too heavy.

ROBOT GIBBERISH No chance this will turn out to be a Horse_ebooks-style disappointment, because it’s not that good. But my Zite app feed keeps kicking up stories from a blogspot SEO casserole, and this is fairly typical:

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I know, I know: you’re intrigued, right? Want to know more?

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The site is supposedly written by Leonard, a "graduate student in Minnesota."

Meet Leonard.

Wonder who he really is.