What they might be doing ...

Tiger Woods

might be saying, "I have hired Ari Fleischer to clean up my image, and he has advised me not to go to Hooters with John Daly."

Ari Fleischer

might be saying, "Don't worry, T. You're in good hands."

Stevie Williams

might be saying, "Hey, mate, you do know Ari worked for George W. Bush, Mark McGwire, the BCS and the Packers during that whole Favre fiasco, right?"

The Dead Sea Scrolls are 2,000 years old, and they're right here in town! Here are five lines we've deciphered:

2. "Twin Cities ponders stadium dilemma."

3. "NCAA sanctions U basketball team."

4. "I'm telling you Bob Knight is a close, personal friend."