Don't be fooled by the 65th birthday that's come and gone. Never mind the photo of the brand-new grandpa's ear-to-ear grin as he cradles twin boys high and tight in both arms. Ignore the news that Gramps just added another 100 acres to his beloved ranch in northern Kentucky.

Mike Zimmer isn't retiring anytime soon. He's ornery as ever and won't even consider stepping down as Vikings head coach until after the 2023 season, when his contract is up, he told the Star Tribune last month. And if you're among the critics who suggest the old-school defensive guru may be fired before then because he can't keep up with the NFL's new-school offensive geniuses, well, brace yourselves for a verbal punch in the nose, a defiant spit of Red Man tobacco juice in the eye and Sunday's debut of a new-look defense that Zimmer vows will be fresher, faster and much better than last year's embarrassing outlier.

"I think if you polled all the offensive coaches in the league, they would say that I'm still ahead of the curve," Zimmer said. "They would tell you how much they respect me. So I don't worry about all that. The fans can say all that stuff they want, but the people who know, they know."

Zimmer, of course, now has to prove himself all over again after one of the worst defensive performances in 60 seasons of Vikings football. Fittingly, it starts at Cincinnati, where Zimmer toiled with much creative acclaim for six seasons as defensive coordinator until the Vikings gave him his first head coaching job in 2014.

“I think if you polled all the offensive coaches in the league, they would say that I'm still ahead of the curve. ”
Mike Zimmer

"I feel pressure every year, so I don't look at it like I'm coaching for my job," Zimmer said. "I'm going to put my resume out there on the field just like the players. And if people don't think I'm good enough to do it, so be it. Somebody else does."

Last year's perfect storm for Zimmer's defense began before season-ending injuries took out Danielle Hunter in training camp and Anthony Barr in Week 2. And then there was what he called a "mistake in judgment," playing rookie corners.

"We lost a lot of guys in free agency," Zimmer added. "A lot of good players."

Including Zimmer's top three corners (combined games played: 233). Throw in nose tackle Michael Pierce's COVID-19 opt-out and, well ... let's let Zimmer reflect on what was going through his mind long before the Vikings reached the bye at 1-5.

"I probably shouldn't say this," Zimmer said.

Then he went ahead and said it, sharing a conversation he had with longtime friend, confidant and co-defensive coordinator Andre Patterson.

"Andre and I talked early in the season and said, 'If we can win eight games with this group that we got, it's probably one of the best coaching jobs there was,'" Zimmer said. "We ended up winning seven."

Payback for Payton

Zimmer's defensive highlight last year was defeating NFL MVP Aaron Rodgers at Lambeau Field while being forced to use seven rookie defenders. His lowlight came in New Orleans on Christmas Day when his buddy, Saints coach Sean Payton, was still passing the ball with 2 minutes left in a blowout just so he could finish off Zimmer's decimated defense with Alvin Kamara's NFL record-tying sixth rushing touchdown.

"I wouldn't have done that to him," Zimmer said. "But if I ever get the chance, I will now."

The pain followed Zimmer into the postgame news conference when he essentially was forced to eat the words he used while boasting in training camp that he had never coached a bad defense. "This is a bad defense," he said. "Worst one I ever had."

For the season, Zimmer's 475 points allowed were nine short of the worst mark in team history, and five short of the league-worst 480 points in 2013 that got Leslie Frazier fired and Zimmer hired.

The mood coming home from New Orleans, Zimmer said, was, "Bad. It was rough. It was depressing. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel."

He likened his feeling then to when he arrived and huddled with General Manager Rick Spielman to begin assembling a new roster.

"That first year, we had up on the board the guys who were returning and I was like, 'How are we going to fix this?'" Zimmer said. "And to [management's] credit, I think they did it. And to their credit, I think they did it this year, too."

The Vikings added five defensive starters via free agency while getting Pierce and Hunter back. They have an experienced secondary, run stoppers and an elite pass rusher – three things they lacked in 2020.

New-look defense

Zimmer admitted last spring that NFL offenses have changed too much the past four or five years to stand pat defensively. A staunch 4-3 disciple, Zimmer could use more 3-4 looks this season. The changes start Sunday.

"They'll be drastic to the professional eye, I think," Zimmer said. "Fans will notice some things for sure, too."

Zimmer said he's tinkered with new ideas in practices and offseasons for years. He didn't implement them because his defenses ranked in the top nine in points allowed from 2015-19.

"Last year, with so many young guys and not having an offseason because of COVID-19, it was, 'OK, we're going to have to just try to hang in there and do what we've done in the past,'" Zimmer said. "This year, we just decided it was time to stop tinkering and just do it."

Zimmer will again call defensive plays after entertaining the idea of turning that over to his son and co-defensive coordinator, Adam, who called the defense in the preseason.

Relationship with Cousins

It's been a busy summer for Zimmer. Busier than normal.

He has two first-year coordinators: Ryan Ficken on special teams and Klint Kubiak taking over the offense from his dad, Gary, who retired. Zimmer will have a heavy hand on the younger Kubiak's steering wheel.

Meanwhile, Zimmer also has waged a public battle, pleading with his unvaccinated players to get the shots for the safety of themselves and their families. And, obviously, the more vaccinated players a team has the less chance of a COVID-19 outbreak that would result in forfeited games.

Still, the Vikings at one point ranked last in percentage of vaccinated players. Asked why he thinks that is, Zimmer said, "I have no idea. We've tried."

Five of the Vikings' unvaccinated players are starters Dalvin Cook, Dalvin Tomlinson, Adam Thielen, Harrison Smith and, most notably, quarterback Kirk Cousins.

The popular narrative is Zimmer and Cousins are at odds. Asked how being on opposite sides of the vaccine debate has impacted their relationship, Zimmer said, "It hasn't. There are other guys on the team that I have really good relationships with that haven't taken the shot, and it hasn't impacted those relationships.

"I don't know how it came to I'm having a rough relationship with [Cousins]. I'm really not. We talked. He explained his side. I explained mine. And we kind of left it at that."

Zimmer described his relationship with Cousins as "a true player-coach relationship."

"We talk about football," he said. "That's where it is all the time. Situational football. 'Why did you think about this? Here's what I was thinking at that time.' The vaccine stuff is kind of out the window, honestly."

Asked what would constitute a good season for Cousins, Zimmer said, "Wins. Like last year, he had lots of yards and touchdown passes and all that stuff. But that partly was because we were so poor on defense. I don't care what his numbers are. We were beating Atlanta 28-0 two years ago and ran the ball the whole second half. I'd prefer to be playing that way than putting up gaudy numbers."

“I feel pressure every year, so I don't look at it like I'm coaching for my job. ”
Mike Zimmer

Zimmer said he hopes the offensive line can protect Cousins the way he needs to be protected. Zimmer, of course, would feel better about that if his starting left tackle, first-round draft pick Christian Darrisaw, hadn't missed every team practice rep since he arrived with a groin injury.

Another former first-round draft pick, Jeff Gladney, a cornerback selected 31st overall in 2020, is out of the picture permanently. The Vikings released him this summer, hours after he was indicted on domestic violence charges.

"We just couldn't tolerate that kind of accusation," Zimmer said. "We just couldn't do it. And you think about that. You got Gladney, [Mike] Hughes [being waived] because we didn't think he would make it back from his injury. You got [2016 first-round pick Laquon] Treadwell, Darrisaw … you lose a bunch of those first-round picks and that's not good."

'I'm not stopping'

Zimmer has coached football the past 43 seasons. He's spent the last 28 in the NFL. Heading into Year 8 as a head coach, he's 67-47-1 with two division titles, a trip to the conference championship and a 2-3 playoff mark.

His thoughts on returning to Cincinnati are limited to two things: Acquiring more than 30 tickets for friends and family was one. The other?

"Just win the game," he said. "That's all."

Does anyone ever see a day when Zim isn't coaching football?

"No. Not a chance. No chance," said Paul Guenther, Zimmer's former linebackers coach in Cincinnati and now a defensive consultant with the Vikings. "I know he says he enjoys the ranch and hunting and all that stuff. But deep down inside the guy is a football coach. Period."

Zimmer is also a noted stressed-out worrywart. He admits he still sleeps in his office, although not as much as he used to. He also was working out this summer but gave it up.

"I hurt my back doing something, so I stopped that," he said.

“It's hard to picture him ever not coaching. He gets bored easily.”
Adam Zimmer

Adam Zimmer admits he worries about his dad's health sometimes.

"He does get stressed a lot," Adam said. "Sometimes, I'll go into his office just to talk about something other than football. The ranch. Stuff that's going on in the world."

Does that work?

"Not really," Adam said. "I know the days when he doesn't want to do that because he'll be all salty."

But …

"It's hard to picture him ever not coaching," Adam said. "He gets bored easily."

Mike Zimmer's time as a head coach, however, does have an endpoint that he'll try to figure out after three more seasons.

"I'm not stopping before then," he said. "I'll make a decision then. What I don't want to do is die doing this job.

"I don't want one day my kids to find me dead because of the stuff that I have to do every day. I want to try to enjoy my life a little bit before I die."

Zimmer said he probably loves the schematics of football too much to ever not be involved in the game in some background capacity.

"I'm sure some team would want me as a consultant," Zimmer said. "I think it would be hard for me to quit cold turkey. I guess I'm ... what's the word when you can't stop doing something?"

Addicted?

"Yes," he said. "I'm addicted to football."