In the fall of 1990, I stood near the loading dock at the Vikings' Winter Park facility in Eden Prairie, watching a few players pack Donald Igwebuike into the trunk of a car so they could smuggle him past the television cameras gathered on the front driveway.
Igwebuike, formerly an accomplished kicker for the Tampa Bay Bucs, was spending his first and only season with the Vikings. He had been indicted on drug-smuggling charges. He was acquitted the following spring.
Igwebuike's worries didn't harm his kicking. He converted 14 of his 16 field-goal attempts and all 19 of his extra points that season, proving that even effective Vikings kickers wind up hiding in trunks, or wanting to.
When it comes to Vikings and kickers, history doesn't just haunt. It nags. Gary Anderson's only miss in 1998 kept the Vikings from the Super Bowl. Blair Walsh's miss from 27 yards against Seattle in 2015 cost Mike Zimmer what would have been his first postseason victory.
They have drafted two kickers in the past seven years and have cut both.
Daniel Carlson missed three field-goal attempts against Green Bay last year and was released, then went on to make 16 of his 17 tries for Oakland.
The way Zimmer and Rick Spielman handled their punters, kickers, holders and long-snappers this season feels like the football version of those old posters where the field mouse makes a defiant gesture toward the swooping eagle. Even if you admire the sentiment, you have little doubt about the outcome.
Their self-imposed kicker dramas are emblematic of the flaws of the current Vikings' brain trust. In a few days they will open the season with a talented roster featuring a worrisome quarterback and their latest kicking and punting temps.