Hey you! Yeah, you — peering from the teensy opening you managed to scrape from the ice on your windshield. You're driving us crazy and you're a public nuisance. We also suspect you don't care what we think.
But clearing your car of snow and ice is the law. Legalities are almost beside the point, though, given that few things jack up a driver's blood pressure in winter more than the sight of you doofuses rolling along in your two-ton igloos.
"If someone drove during the summer with cardboard taped to their windows, they would be ticketed," said Caroline Thoms of Scandia. "It's part of living in Minnesota, taking the time to scrape."
And there it is: the sad-but-true fact that, once it starts snowing, living here takes more time.
"Just like we tell people it's going to take you a little longer to get places, it's going to take a little longer to clear off your car," said Lt. Eric Roeske of the Minnesota State Patrol. "Just plan on taking that extra time."
It's called "peephole driving," the death-defying belief that peering through a Frisbee-sized porthole in your windshield enables you to see pedestrians at crosswalks, cars in adjoining lanes, hapless bicyclists, leashless dogs and other clueless drivers.
Joe Zahner used to be a peephole driver. "Of course, I had an excuse because I was new to Minnesota from California," he said, adding that his neighbors in St. Louis Park still regard him as a newcomer, as he arrived only 16 years ago.
"I had a couple of scares and have changed my ways," he said. Now he starts his car, parked outdoors, then scrapes as it warms up. "That helps to clean off the snow and ice from the windows."