ALEXANDRIA, MINN. – Arlys Kakac was standing outside her farm shed when I stopped by recently to visit.
Wearing jeans and an old work jacket, she looked tired. At 87, she had just finished putting up the season’s wood supply with a few helpers. Wood sat heaped in the shed in two massive mounds.
“Arlys,” I said, “I hope I’m like you when I’m 87.”
Arlys is my husband’s aunt. Her strength was forged in childhood through poverty and a level of responsibility and hard work that I have never known. She milked cows at 11, dropped out of school at 15, applied for a farm loan at age 16, was rejected and went back to the bank at ages 17, 18, 19 and 20. At 21, when the local banker finally figured she was old enough, she bought her first 80 acres and started a dairy.
They don’t make them like Arlys anymore.
The second oldest of 10 children, she had to be, as she put it, “both mother and father” to her nine siblings. Her older sister was often ill, but Arlys was the strong one, the one who cut firewood for the family and slept on the couch in the winter so she could keep the fire going. As a teenager, she made the loan payments on the family house.
Arlys left school because the farm mechanics program was full and the school tried to steer her into its arts program instead.
So, she hired out as a farmhand. The farmers she lived with never fed her so she survived by drinking warm milk from the dairy cows. After two months, when she went home for a visit, her father saw her thinness and said she couldn’t go back. She signed on with a different farm family and that family doted on her.