Ball Park Singles an easy out
This is not an April Fool joke; Ball Park Singles, a box of individually wrapped hot dogs, is a real product. Mr. Tidbit thinks it ranks very high on the We-Didn't-Need-This scale. According to the package, Ball Park Singles have "great taste straight from the microwave." Mr. Tidbit notes that regular hot dogs do, too.
The package back explains the advantages of individually wrapped hot dogs: "Just tear one off. Individually wrapped so you can use as many as you need. Store the rest with no mess."
Mr. Tidbit is unaware of tragic consequences from opening a package of eight hot dogs and using only one. OK, the package might be drippy; if so, stick it in a plastic bag. How hard is that?
"Microwave," the instructions continue; "no need to vent." Mr. Tidbit needs to vent, but maybe he should just exhale for a moment.
"Just place self-venting hot dog in microwave," the instructions go on, "and cook on high for 20 to 25 seconds per hot dog . . ." To serve, "Just peel back the easy open wrapper . . . Caution: Hot dog may be hot."
Mr. Tidbit notes that a regular hot dog can be microwaved loosely covered with a paper towel; that avoids dealing with the "easy open wrapper" on a frankfurter that is hot enough to require a caution statement. (Microwave cookbooks suggest microwaving the hot dog right in the bun -- even less need to handle the hot hot dog, but microwaves make bread soggy.)
Last, a package of eight Ball Park Singles weighs 12.8 ounces; a package of eight regular Ball Park hot dogs weighs 16 ounces. At a discount store they had the same price, $1.68. The regular hot dogs are 25 percent larger for the same price or, looked at the other way, Singles cost 25 percent more per ounce.