There's still no tax, alas, on Vikings stadium proposals

The latest stadium proposal would tax repetitive newspaper columns on stadium proposals, so I'm against it. Other than that, though, it has its merits: There's a tax on the players' income. (Note to players: We don't want to hear a peep about this. Not. One. Peep.) A lottery devoted to the Vikings would be created, so people can become instant millionaires, buy the team and move it to South Dakota. There's a tax on "sports memorabilia," but if that was such a cash cow, they would have tapped it long ago. Probably pay for half a restroom trough. There is no tax, alas, on stadium proposals.

Money will be raised by selling naming rights -- and wouldn't it be nasty if the wrong guys bought it, just to be cruel. WELCOME TO GREEN BAY PACKERS STADIUM! Naming rights are very important; I'm sure everyone who visited Target Field was intrigued by the big red logo and vowed to see if it was connected to any sort of commercial enterprise they could patronize. When they were in the market for archery supplies.

So far, you're thinking, so good. Then you read this: "a sales tax on digital video equipment designed to facilitate satellite downloads." That would be your DVR or TiVo. It could also be your computer: You can get Internet piped down to your house from space to the dish on the roof and record it on your PC, after all. Why not? Pay up! You can record games on your satellite rig, so you should pay a tax for the stadium you're not sitting in. Got it? Under this logic, we should tax TVs, radios, blog posts and the guy on the bus talking about the fourth quarter. Besides, most people rent their DVRs, so this tax would have the effect of raising about $59.45, which at least would pay for the other half of the trough.

Look. There are two ways we can do this. Either what they call "broad-spectrum kinetic taxing action," including things like a 12 percent temporary surcharge on the .07 percent permanent tax on minnow buckets, and other hidden "time-limited" fees that will still be on the books when the sun flames out and the Earth is a cinder, or something big we can all say yay or nay to.

Like building them a stadium for free and levying a 100% Stadium Tax on the owners.