Helen Jamila Kosobayashi and Kent Amin Kosobayashi

I would like to wish the readers Ramadan Mubarak (Blessed Ramadan)! The world's 1.5 billion Muslims will be fasting during this month. Rose French of the Star Tribune wrote a wonderful article on how the Twin Cities Muslims will be celebrating this month. Continuing in the series of interviews from the Muslim Experience in Minnesota project, in this entry, I feature Helen and Kent Kosobayashi.

Transcript of Kent and Helen Kosobayashi Interview:

Kent A. Kosobayashi (KAK): My name is Kent Amin Kosobayashi. My name is Kent – my given legal name. But my friends and associates in Islam have given me the honor of the nickname of Amin which is one of the names given to the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him). He was known by many names, but Amin is a name given to me. It means the trusted one, so I feel very honored to have received that nickname by my friends. I was born and raised here in Minneapolis. It's always interesting 'cause I get the question so much so 'How long have you been here?' It's like 'Well, I have been here all my life.' 'No, no, how long have you really been here?' It's like 'All my life. I was born in St. Louis Park.' So, I find that interesting. But, I guess, people just assume that if you don't look Norwegian like the vast majority here that, that they assume that you are not born and raised in this area. I am a Japanese American. Both parents are Japanese, and on both sides both grandparents also came from Japan. So, I am considered a Sansei which is third generation. We have a small family business. There is my brother and myself and basically two other full-time people. We're upholstery supply wholesalers. Helen J. Kosobayashi (HJK): I am Helen Jamila Kosobayashi. My given name is Helen. However, when I converted to Islam I was given [the] name Jamila. And so, I am referred by that name to members in the community. And Jamila means the inner beauty, the beauty, the beautiful one. So, how can you turn that down? And myself, I am a psychologist and my background is specifically in rehabilitation. And so I used to work for the corporate sector under workers comp, long-term disability, you know, long-term disability. So, anyway, did primarily corporate work. I'm not currently employed. As far as my background, I am about as Lake Wobegon as one gets. I grew up on a farm in Stearns County in Minnesota. And, again, we farmed. We were farmers. And I have, I guess the other piece that's significant is being on a farm and out in nature, I always had an interest in nature, in spirituality. Nature very much spoke to me. I felt very close to God in that environment. It was very much a presence, very felt by me. And so, so perhaps I think it's those early beginnings and also when one sees the cycle of life you plant in the spring. And you watch as the crop grows and one harvests in the fall. Same thing, we were, we also were a husbandry, in other words we had cattle. We also grew, had pigs, and chickens, and dogs and cats. And so again, I saw this whole cycle of life repeat itself and it was very natural. And as a young child it was, it was always a sense of awe to see a calf born. But we also saw death and so it became a natural part of life. And so I think thus began my interest in spirituality. I grew up Roman Catholic. And so we were members of a church. And we participated, so. So I did have that in my background. KAK: We, Jamila and I first met, wow, back in the mid eighties. I think eighty five, eighty six. HJK: We met and we married. And we actually married in a Lutheran church. And we were actually very active in our Lutheran church for a number of years. And then, again, during this time, like I said I had been a spiritual seeker and I had been studying different paths and one of them was Buddhism, Native American spirituality. And I really, and quite honestly, I really hadn't thought of Islam because it wasn't in, what shall I say, in the common culture at that time. We really, I didn't really know anything about it. As time went on, I actually did meet people who were Muslims. And I was very intrigued. They were very beautiful people. And so this is my introduction to Islam. And at that time, again this was starting to be in what, nineteen ninety nine. And so, you know, I started to study. I started to read. But I don't think people really convert just on the basis of book knowledge. For me it was knowing people, knowing they were very kind, they were very, people with depth, is the way I would describe it. I had been reading and just practicing on my own. I really hadn't come out into the community, so to speak. But after 9/11 I really felt the need to be out there in the community because I was aware, you know, there might be harm done to people and to the mosque. And I had been starting to meet some of the local Muslims at that point. So, at that point I decided, being of the dominant culture, I felt responsibility to be out there and speak and to, you know, stand up for people due to the kindness that had been shown me. But again because I come from an interfaith background that's really where my interests lie and also where I feel I can be most helpful to the community at large. I know how the dominant culture thinks. I have an understanding of what the fears are. And I think it's important that others see the Muslim community as people and that we're a very diverse community. And so we not only come from other countries, but we also are home-grown as well. And this is where I feel I can help, you know, educate people. And that's really what it's about - I think is helping others to see that we are just people like everybody else and, you know, we're from here, we're from different cultural backgrounds, even from here. And so this is how, this my story of how I came into the community. KAK: My journey into Islam is, is quite of a long story, I guess. Coming from a Japanese background, I was born and raised Buddhist in our family. As a matter of fact, my grandfather was one the first few people here that really started the Japanese community in a small group here that's still very active today. But I think my parents were very kind in the fact that they noticed as I grew into my early teens that I really wasn't resonating, shall we say, with the Buddhist faith. So, I think they've always encouraged me to find a faith that I felt comfortable with. And they encouraged me to really look to see what I really felt fit my needs and what really fed me. So, my parents always, you know, embraced the fact that I probably wouldn't follow their walking and stay in Buddhism. But being Asian and Japanese and coming from a background of mild discrimination. And in Minnesota I guess I really can't say I was discriminated, but you definitely feel when you walk into the room you are aware that you are the only person of color. And the heads turn and it's not that it's bad, but you definitely feel 'I am the only person of non-Western background here'. So, I was very fortunate that I had some high school friends that were active in, at the time, Christian youth ministry. And at the time it was young life, a group that was non-denominational and really met the needs of, of high school teenage people looking for people to gather in a fun context and still have religious overtones and learning. And I really enjoyed that. And the message of Christianity started to make a lot more sense. I felt that it filled a need in my heart. And in Christianity I found that the message of salvation through Christ to be a very comforting thought, or concept. And I became very involved with the Lutheran Church. I was baptized with my young life friends and the youth ministers at the time. And I was again, I was blessed in terms of finding a church that was fairly small in St. Louis Park. And it really, it felt my needs and it filled my heart in terms of what is salvation for me? The answer of what is past this life in terms of heaven and earth. And it fed me and it really, really moved and shaped my life at the time. And then after we met and watching what she was going through with Islam and meeting the people, I found that there was even more to my walking and the calling in my relationship to God and the understanding that there is, being raised Buddhist, that there is Christ and also that there is God. And God is God, is one God of the Jews, the Christians, and the Muslims. And the more I spent time with the community that we were running into, 'cause we were very fortunate in running into a lot of different groups that I really did, I found the blessings in Islam and I found a deeper meaning and a continuation in my walking and in understanding my relationship with God. And there is a lot of depth and a lot of beauty to it, to any of the major faiths. And I have deep appreciation for everything I have learned in Christianity. And having said that, I also find there is deep beauty again in Judaism and our Jewish friends. And, but again, right now, what we have in Islam and what I am learning on the path that we are taking there is tremendous depth, the more that you get into Islam on the personal relationship and the deepening of your relationship with God that I feel that I have really gone into not just knowing God, but knowing myself and now getting more into the concept of the soul. HJK: Islam. You know, fortunately, both of our families were very good about that. I think my mother actually was more upset when I went from Catholicism to join the Lutheran Church. [laughs] KAK: [laughs] And being married in a Lutheran Church. HJK: [laughs] To get married in a Lutheran Church. I think that was almost more upsetting to her because I don't think she really had an understanding of what Islam was. Perhaps for that reason, I don't know, it just didn't seem to be a major issue. And I think that's with my family in particular. There just wasn't a whole lot of knowledge of what it was. And yet what they knew what they saw on TV obviously had their own agenda. And so, they, you know, they were savvy enough to know that what is portrayed is not necessarily what it really is about. But they didn't really know what. And so, so really they were very open to just I wouldn't, I would not proselytize them. You know, I never liked it when people did that to me. And I don't do it to anybody. Because it's really about your behavior, it's really how one is with people. And so, but I didn't make it a secret, I, you know, let them know. And it was just a real gradual unfolding of education that 'no, we don't eat pork anymore'. And coming from [chuckles] central Minnesota, from a farm where we raised pigs that was, you know, I mean ham is Easter dinner (chuckles), you know. And I think that's the other thing to point out. We still are with our family on the holidays. The Quran really says 'be with your family. Do not separate from your family. And it's on the holidays when my nieces fly in from California and wherever. All the families are together on those holidays. And so, I wanna see my family. And the Quran does, you know, promote family unity. So, we are with our families on those holidays. And so they're very kind. They no longer serve pork. KAK: Thanksgiving is like "This dressing doesn't have any pork in it." HJK: [laughs] Or you know, the quintessential Minnesota wild rice soup, you know, now has chicken rather than ham or [chuckles] bacon. So, both of our families have been very good at that. They've been very kind in accepting that, you know, we don't do those things. Your brother, he'll leave, even, he is kind of a foodie. And so he leaves out the wine now from the sauces, you know, and that sort of thing, you know. So, we've been, I think, very fortunate, you know, in that our families have been open. And, as time goes on, you know, they do, they now ask about certain aspects of Islam. And I think that's our cue. We just wait for them to ask us, you know. I don't go in with any agenda when I see my family. When I go, when we are with our family it's about family time. And if it comes up, we, you know, will answer. And we both went to hajj, so that opened up a big opportunity to, you know, for us to go to Saudi Arabia. In fact, only in America, but I remember when I went to hajj it was over a period of time that covered Christmas and New Year's over here. And so it was after the festival Eid al-Adha, I think the day after. Here I am in Saudi Arabia (laughs) trying to do tawaf around the Ka'bah, I actually call my family and say, 'cause they were all home and I wanted to talk to them. And so I called my family and here I am in Mecca outside the Ka'bah talking to my family in St. Cloud, Minnesota, on the farm. And you know, so it's a, it's a dichotomy or I don't know if it's a dichotomy, that's not a good word, but anyway, but it opens up many pathways and, and they were very interested in knowing. They even went on Google Earth and, you know, peered down on the Ka'bah. (chuckles) So, that was one way. Interviewer: Think, think of a particular joy, a specific time that, that really spoke to you, that really drew you to the experience of the Muslim community. HJK: I'll give one specific example, when I was first coming out from my individual into the community, and the first time I went to the Eid ul-Fitr observance at the mosque, and I had been going to, we have what we call Taraweeh prayers in the month of Ramadan. And so I had been going and I, you know, got to know some of the women that I would pray next to, and so when Eid-ul Fitr came at that point you weren't Muslim yet, so I was literally solo. And there was a, there was a part of me that was feeling 'Oh, but I don't have any place to go afterwards,' you know. I mean, I suppose I could go to Perkins, but you know, that kind of doesn't cut it. So, so I'll never forget the sister I'd been praying next to and got to know, we ended up coming next to each other again during the Eid prayer, and she asked me "Well, what are you doing?" And I said, "Well, nothing, you know." 'Cause you were working. [speaking to her husband]. And she says "Well, come with me." And so she just kind of swept me up and I thought 'Oh, but, you know.' But I just thought 'Oh, okay, I'm gonna go for it.' And she just swept me up and, and took me to her family observance and celebration of Eid. And the family literally just took me in and I spent the whole afternoon there into the early part of the evening, and then they packed me up with food and, you know, to send home. And so it's, it's really the warmth I'd been feeling, from again the people and taking me in like that when I literally didn't have, I literally didn't have any place to go. But, you know, they opened their house and their hearts to me. And that's happened repeatedly in our experience. I am involved in a very diverse community etc., but when I go out I, I really come very face to face with attitudes of racism, of otherness, and, and I don't wanna whitewash 'cause Muslims are people, people, okay, and there are good people and there are, you know, people who aren't so good. And so I don't wanna whitewash it into all Muslims are good, you know. We've met wonderful, wonderful people, and unfortunately some people who do call themselves by this religion, you know, do what they do. What I hope to educate my family and my friends at home is that 'Please know that this is this individual doing this particular act.' And in any, any tradition, you're going to have people hijack, if you will, you know, the name of whatever it is. And we have to educate people that there is, there is political reasons behind why people do what they do, economic, social etc. In other words, there are agendas. So, I certainly don't whitewash it, but I really hope I can educate people. KAK: I see a lot of similarities coming from a Japanese background and knowing the history of what happened after World War II with, with racial biasing of, towards Japanese Americans and then I understand after 9/11 the sudden reinvigoration of cultural differences and particularly now the media perhaps harping on it. But, I do understand the quandary that many of our, of our Muslim brothers and sisters have, especially coming from my background and being Japanese American and knowing what my parents and grandparents went through. I feel very deeply that, how unjust it is and on the same token I understand where it comes from. I don't condone it, but I understand where it comes from. And I try to convey to our Muslim brothers and sisters that it's, it's kind of a test that unfortunately, that you do your best and you hope it's enough. And I try when I can and as best as I can to convey to my brothers and my sisters that it's, it's unfortunately something that the Japanese Americans have endured and I hope, I hope that we've overcome. Just by example that the way to combat racism is to become part of the community and show them that, yes, that I am Japanese and I am different, but we are more of the same than we are different. I encourage our Muslim brothers and sisters to be the same thing. They know you as the guy next door who helps out with, with shoveling snow, as in our case shoveling a lot of snow out and helping your neighbor with things. When your neighbor goes out on vacation, you pick up the mail, you water their garden. You're the guy next door who helps coaches, coach the little league team next door. So, I think it's important that you just have faith that America is just a, it is truly, I mean, granted I am biased because I was born and raised here, it's a great country. There are, it's not perfect, by any stretch of imagination, but it's still a wonderful place to be with a lot of people, a lot of people who are very understanding and who, who really seek to understand who you are, not just what you are and what your label is. And I think that's the, if I can somehow manage to convey that to our Muslim brothers and sisters, especially for those who are first or second generation immigrants to this country that it's gonna be a rough ride. It is gonna be a very rough ride. And it's not fair, it's not just, but it is what it is. And it's kind of our calling and a test to our faith that, that we espouse to others that Islam is not this, this terrorist religion that you see on, on the news, that it is, it is people, who are just like you, with just, just different background who are maybe just unlike the Americans who, who have come over in the last few, few generations are, are new to this country and are trying to carve their American dream too.